I'M 18 and was in a relationship with S.

He was good, caring, kind, brave, well-educated, loyal and well-mannered.

Both of us are from the same school; he's in the science stream and I am in the arts.

We've known each other since I entered Form 6 but we were only together as a couple for five months. I love him very much.

Our love life was enjoyable until one day when we had a small misunderstanding. Now we can't get back together.

I really needed help so I talked to my teacher and asked for her assistance.

S and I have slept together and I was stupid to tell the teacher. S cried when the teacher confronted him and said I had spoilt his life.

Before that, he would call and talk to me every day, but now he doesn't even text message me. He really hates me.

I feel like I have lost something vital in my life. I had thought of marrying S and having a future with him.

I am not a virgin and cannot marry another guy. I want to study. I love my parents a lot. They need me more than I need them.

After we fought, S broke up with me. Every day, I have to face him in school.

Now, he is with a Form Four girl and she shows off the messages he sends her.

I feel like killing myself. I was pregnant and aborted the baby. Please help me as I need him in my life.

Help Me

YOU need to tell your parents or someone who can help you get professional counselling. Losing your first love, getting pregnant and having to abort your baby is too traumatic for you to handle alone and in silence.

Unfortunately, you and S were both not emotionally ready for a relationship. You had known each other for only five months and the initial sparks and physical attraction were not enough for love.

You were a dewy-eyed virgin who probably felt that you were ready to give him body and soul. But he was just a hot male with raging hormones who was too excited or not savvy enough to have protected sex. But blaming you for telling on him, breaking up and getting involved with another girl showed that he is immature, selfish and irresponsible.

Fear of responsibilities and the consequences could also have prompted his cold and callous reaction as you had told a teacher about your problems. He probably felt that you had ruined his life by revealing the truth to the school authorities.

Breaking up was his way of getting rid of the problems. But was he aware that you were pregnant? Who advised you to get an abortion?

Even if he was not prepared to marry you, you should be not be left alone to pick up the pieces that he so conveniently dumped.

However, you need to understand now that this relationship is over and you must garner your strength to get on with your life. You made a mistake in believing that you had shared love with this man. Forget him. Losing your virginity does not mean that you are not good enough for another man. This is 2010 and women have more choices to live their lives differently.

Concentrate on your studies. Seek professional counselling until you are emotionally healed. Put this episode behind you or you could be psychologically scared for life.

Many, many young women have suffered the pain of rejection and betrayal but have managed to carry on with will and determination. There are many more painful lessons in life. Always remember that we must never allow the burden of guilt and shame to cower us into submission and defeat.