I GOT to know G while in a girls’ school. She is quite gorgeous and I’m not bad-looking myself, and we became good friends.

Then G professed her love for me. She would hold my hands, kiss my cheeks and caress my inner thighs whenever we were alone. I was comfortable and didn’t mind her showing her affections for me.

I developed feelings for her. One day, she invited me to her house where we ended up “making love”.

A few weeks after our “sexual encounter”, G changed school and we lost touch. Losing her was painful. I went through life like a zombie and even took drugs to try heal the pain. Somehow, I managed to regain control of my life by keeping busy with work. For a few years, I forgot about her.

Last year, I “accidentally” found G again and we reconnected. She is divorced, has a child and is a “semi-public” figure. Should I tell her that I still have feelings for her?

Occasionally, I will call, SMS or email G. She entertains me but keeps her distance. Why did she say that she’s happy to reconnect with me but act the opposite? Should I confront her? How?

I keep thinking of her and pining for her. I couldn’t concentrate on my work and lost my job! I don’t want to be a zombie or turn to drugs again to deal with her rejection. I am afraid that I may not recover this time.

How do I stop the feelings I have for her? How do I bring closure to this matter?

After G left, I knew no other girl could hold a candle to her. I couldn’t bear the touch of another. I can’t seek help from my friends as they don’t know about my secret love.

Secret Love

G’S feelings could have changed since you went separate ways. While she had initiated love and intimacy with you, she is now a mother and a public figure. So do not be so disappointed if she seems distant and cool.

Sometimes, we do not understand our sexual orientation until we find true love. When we are young adults, love is exciting, passionate and experimental. We believe in love without boundaries or gender. G was a young woman who was probably exploring her sexuality and desire when she first met you. But she moved on in life, married and had a child, while you pined and dreamt of the past.

Do not degrade your life, physically and emotionally, for a dream that is nothing but a memory. Taking drugs and losing your job and focus will not gain you love or sympathy. Others do not understand your pain. You have acted like a lost soul for so long, forgoing love for hope. You never tried to fill the loss by exploring other relationships, be it with a man or another woman.

Confessing your love to G could be your only option if you want closure. Perhaps you are not a lesbian but just a vulnerable young woman who never got over her first love. You want so much to experience the same feelings again, but perhaps it is a trick of your mind.

You cannot bear to accept that G had left you and cut off all ties. Seeing her again and re-connecting has created emotional havoc for you. You dare to hope again, but sadly, it could all end in more pain and hurt.

Be prepared. It is time to understand if you can only love this woman. Or, perhaps once you have accepted that G is part of your past, best forgotten, then you may have a life again.