I THINK my first meeting with E two years ago was set up by her boss, T, who is my friend. I was out jogging with T when he introduced me to her.

After that, I would look for opportunities to visit T in his office so that I could see E.

E is eight years my junior, a 45-year-old divorcee. She is average looking, with a pleasant personality, and is well-liked as she is hardworking, kind, helpful and honest. E is T’s right-hand person at work.

I told T I liked E and he encouraged me to pursue her (I have been a widower since 2002 and have three grown-up children).

T intentionally created a new department in his organisation, made me his business associate by having dealings with my company, and assigned E the task of liaising directly with me.

After getting to know her, I found that I could rely on her. I then started to give her all kinds of tasks, including dealing with my personal files.

At times, she was reluctant to do things that were not part of her job description but would do them anyway without complaining.

When my company had to undergo a field audit, I sought E’s assistance as my officer-in-charge was on maternity leave. As a token of appreciation, I gave her a small present, which she declined politely.

I was touched, lost my sense of control and flung myself on her. I hugged and kissed her and to my surprise, she reciprocated.

Since then, we have both felt awkward with each other. I wanted to apologise for my silly mistake but could not. I wanted to tell her I love her but she might think I was just being lecherous.

How do I go back to the way we were before? Should I get T’s advice as he understands his staff better? Please help me, I am lost.

Lost Man

HOW could it be a mistake if you kissed and hugged her and she reciprocated? And this only happened after almost two years of torturing the poor woman with work. Where is the love and romance?

It’s about time you take your heart in your hands and deal with it. It would be more embarrassing seeking your friend’s advice after he set you up so long ago.

You are a man, available and financially capable. She does not dislike you but is probably waiting for stronger signals of your true feelings.

Instead of taking the next step of pursuing the relationship after kissing her, you shied away. How is a woman supposed to react but awkwardly?

Do not even think of getting back to where you were. If you feel she is the woman you want to share the rest of your life with, get on with the courting. Thank her with a bouquet of flowers, invite her for dinner and hold her hand. If she responds encouragingly, then she is sincerely interested in you.

Perhaps you should think about the reasons you have been holding back. You describe this woman as pleasant looking but average. You seem to admire her job performance more than her personality.

You also believe she is someone you can rely on professionally but what about on a personal level? And where are the sparks and excitement of love and chemistry?

It appears that she is ready for more than friendship. So ask yourself if you are truly seeking love or companionship. What are you waiting for?