In 2004, Masato Yamada was a midcareer bureaucrat who had never considered taking child care leave. He saw his job at the Economy, Trade and Industry Ministry as "sacred" and it was not unusual for him to stay at work until 2 a.m.

All this changed when his wife, also a government employee, became pregnant with their third child. Already struggling with the heavy burden of work and raising their twins, she told Yamada it would be almost impossible for her to have another child.

At that instant, Yamada decided to take child care leave.

"However important a job might be in the eyes of society," he said, "it could never be more important than the life of my third child."

Nevertheless, taking child care leave in Japan is still a daunting prospect for most men. The government is aiming to increase the percentage of men who do--its goal is 10 percent by fiscal 2017--but a variety of factors are working against it.

"Before taking a year off work, I looked down on housekeeping and child-rearing," said Yamada, now 42, who became a Yokohama deputy mayor in December. "By the end of that year, however, I'd learned how tough it is."

Even harder were the emotional challenges, he said, including the lack of understanding from many around him.

"The superintendent of my apartment building told me, 'You're so lucky to have every day off,'" Yamada said. "A friend asked me if I'd given up on being promoted. I felt as if just taking child care leave was a black mark against me."

Such attitudes appear to be a key factor in the extremely low percentage of men who take child care leave. A survey released last year by the Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry found only 1.23 percent of male company employees whose wives gave birth in fiscal 2007 took paternity leave, a 0.33 percentage point drop from the previous fiscal year.

"Japanese men likely are never told that it's important for a man to create a family that can enjoy life together," said Toshiyuki Shiomi, president of Shiraume Gakuen University in Tokyo and an expert on child-rearing issues. "They're told to value their families, but they're made to think the most important thing to do for the family is work and bring home money," Shiomi said.

With such pressure making it difficult to leave work early or not do overtime to help with the kids and housework, "taking child care leave requires serious resolve."

A revised law covering child care leave is scheduled to go into full effect June 30. Changes include allowing men who take time off within eight weeks after their children's birth to take a second round of leave at a later time, as well as abolishing the legal stipulation that allowed labor-management agreements to bar men whose wives are full-time homemakers from taking child care leave.

However, Shiomi does not expect these and other measures in the revised law to have much effect as long as the current economic slump continues. Worried about shrinking salaries and the possibility of losing their jobs, men are in no frame of mind to take child care leave, Shiomi said.

Breaking ground

"We need broad-minded companies to emerge," Shiomi said, "firms that say, 'If our employees don't value their families and raise their children properly they aren't fully rounded workers.'"

One company that has garnered high praise in this regard is NTT Data Corp. In a 2009 survey by nonprofit organization Fathering Japan and Dai-ichi Life Research Institute Inc., NTT Data was one of only three companies to receive the top three-star rating as a firm that emphasized a balance between life and work so fathers would find it easier to take an active role in raising their children.

One beneficiary of NTT Data's system is Sado Horikawa, 39, a member of the firm's human resources department. He took 3-1/2 months off to care for his second son, Nozomu, in 2008. Naturally there were challenges--particularly living at the mercy of an infant's schedule and a doorbell that "only rang when I was in the middle of changing a soiled diaper," Horikawa recalled at his house in central Tokyo, with Nozomu on his knee.

Overall, however, he found it much more enjoyable than he expected. "It's a waste not to do something this much fun. Your children become more attached to you, and it improves your relationship with your wife," Horikawa said.

"Even if someone reaches the top of their profession, that ends when they're about 60 or 70," he added. "Nowadays, life goes on to 70, 80. Can someone who's never been there before just come back after retirement and suddenly be a part of the family?"

Child-rearing also became easier for Horikawa's wife, Nanako, as they were able to handle the kids "two on two," she said. "Sometimes you hit a roadblock with one kid. No matter what you say, they won't do what you want. It's a relief to be able to hand things off to the other parent at times like that."

Not everyone, however, receives as much support. Naoki Atsumi, director of the Diversity and Work Life Balance Research Department at Toray Corporate Business Research Inc., tells of what he calls "family harassment."

One of his friends, for example, returned to work after taking child care leave but occasionally had to take several days off when his children were sick.

"His boss told him he shouldn't have married a working woman, and that such a bad choice cast doubt on his commitment to his job," Atsumi said. Ultimately, his friend found another job.

As Atsumi notes, many high-ranking executives have achieved great success under the established system of men spending their days at companies while women remain at home, making it difficult for them to understand younger men who do not devote themselves entirely to work.

Change is possible

"I can tell by just looking at mothers how much their husbands do at home," said Tetsuya Ando, the head of Fathering Japan. "Those who get lots of support from their husbands are always smiling."

A 47-year-old father of three, Ando set up the organization in 2006, hoping to benefit society by increasing the number of fathers who actively participate in raising their kids. In 2008 alone, he gave 180 lectures across the nation and began a so-called fathering school.

Many women quit their jobs when they have a child, and Ando feels it is important for husbands to understand the feelings of isolation such mothers often face at home.

"Once women get married or have a child, they're suddenly called 'so-and-so's wife' or 'so-and-so's mom.' These women achieved things under their own names in their careers, so it's not surprising some of them go out of their minds alone in apartments just taking care of their babies," Ando said.

Experts agree Japan is far behind other developing countries when it comes to men taking part in child-rearing. However, they also point out that countries now considered role models, such as Sweden and the United States, experienced the same problems as Japan decades ago.

"What's important is that we can change. We shouldn't think we can't," said Yamada, who takes advantage of his position as deputy mayor to share the lessons he has learned with residents of Yokohama.

Japan is now at a turning point both socially and economically, Ando said. "People who seize on these developments, and use them to bring about changes in relationships between husbands and wives and between parents and children can have hope for the future."

Like Rome, "a father isn't built in a day," Ando said. "We have to take the first step, or we won't get anywhere."