DIVORCED Malays tend to remarry, often within two years, because they believe their community frowns on single parents, seeing them as unstable, according to a study.
They also feel other Malays see single-parent families as incomplete.
In fact, more than eight in 10 say most of their friends and family strongly encourage them to remarry.
These are some of the key findings released yesterday from a first-of- its-kind survey done by the Young Women Muslim Association (PPIS), which has been conducting marriage preparation courses for Malay couples since 2001.
Its survey was to find out why the remarriage rate among Malay-Muslims is disproportionately higher than those of the other ethnic groups.
Official figures show 34 per cent of all Muslim marriages were not first marriages, compared to 23 per cent for non-Muslim marriages.
In the survey, 314 Malay-Muslims were interviewed over 18 months: 188 of them were divorcees and 126 were singles who were marrying divorcees.
A worrying trend highlighted by the PPIS at a press conference yesterday is that 43 per cent of the divorcees are tying the knot again within two years of getting divorced, and about 80 per cent within five years.
The most common reason they give is a wish to settle down.
Elaborating, PPIS senior social worker Fazlinda Faroo said that unlike singles, divorcees are seen as behaving inappropriately when they go on dates.
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'Their family or friends will say things like 'People will talk' or 'It is not nice for you to be seen alone with a stranger'. To avoid this, they will marry quickly,' explained Ms Fazlinda, who led the survey.
Another finding: 86 per cent of divorcees are strongly encouraged to remarry by friends and family.
The study also found few children were consulted. Although about 80 per cent of the 26 children interviewed were informed by their parents of their remarriage plans, only 15 per cent were asked how they felt about it.
While about 70 per cent of the children are happy for their parents, they also feel anxious about their future.
Said Ms Fazlinda: 'They worry about getting a step-parent... They wonder if they will be loved and treated kindly by the new step-parent. The uncertainties make them anxious.'
PPIS also revisited 40 couples they had interviewed three months after their wedding days, and found eight couples grappling with problems, with some expressing regret.
'Some of them struggle to play different roles, as spouse and step-parent, at the same time,' she said.
On the other hand, 'a handful' delayed or called off their wedding plans after attending the PPIS marriage preparation course and counselling sessions, she noted.
PPIS said the findings will help refine its remarriage counselling programmes.
To stress the importance of making informed decisions, PPIS counsellors will encourage couples to discuss the emotional baggage they carry from past marriages.
Currently, the issue is not dealt with at length.
PPIS is also considering setting up a help centre that will focus on providing counselling to step-families and divorcees who wish to remarry.
'We hope to have it up by the end of this year,' said Ms Fazlinda.
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This article was first published in The Straits Times.
