updated 24 Dec 2010, 09:17
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Sat, Dec 19, 2009
The New Paper
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Calm divorce, nasty battle over son
by Bryna Sim

THE divorce settlement was calm.

Little Nazri was to live with his mother, who was given full custody.

But he could also see his father, who was given “reasonable access” to his only child by the courts, meaning he could see the child as and when he wanted.

But now, two years on, Nazri, 10, is caught in a battle between his parents.

His father, Rosli, claims Nazri has become distant from him because his mother had “poisoned” his mind against him.

But Nazri’s mother, Siti, claims Rosli had grown increasingly distant from his son, whom she said is fearful and unwilling to meet his father.

She also alleged that Rosli had sent her threatening SMSes and caused her “emotional distress”.

Because of this, she had applied to the courts for a Personal Protection Order (PPO) on 16 Nov last year.

We are not using real names in this story so as not to identify the boy.

Siti, 40, who’s self-employed, said that from 2007 to March this year, Rosli, 39, a driver, and Nazri got along well.

But she claimed that Rosli’s visits to the boy dwindled from weekly, to fortnightly, and then finally, monthly.

Nazri said his father does not “play with, teach, or talk” to him much.

“He just demands to see me when he feels like it,” he said.

But Rosli said that his son’s accusations were “hurtful and untrue” because he did make an effort to spend as much time as possible talking to him, playing with him and showing an interest in his life.

“I feel that I’m connected to him even though my ex-wife controls everything,” he said.

It all came to a head on 11 Mar this year.

That day, Rosli had asked to pick up his son from the family home in Tampines at 9pm.

Nazri said his father “shouted and scolded” him the moment he got into the van.

“He kept saying I loved only my mother, and was angry that I did not seem to love him,” said Nazri.

He claims that his father then said that they were going to his aunt’s place.

“I was scared that I would be there forever and would not be able to go home and see mummy again,” said Nazri.

That was when he panicked and ran out of the van.

Rosli, however, denied being angry or having even raised his voice at his son.

He said that their conversation in the van was “less than 10 sentences long” and took place at “a normal volume”.

Rosli said that it was true that he told Nazri they were going to his elder sister’s place to “play with his cousins”, but Nazri was not keen to go.

“I asked him, ‘Why can’t you go?’ He said, ‘Mummy says cannot go’,” said Rosli.

When Rosli repeated his question, “Why can’t you go?’”, he said that Nazri looked panicky, got out of the van immediately and ran back towards his flat.

Out to damage relationship

Rosli now alleges that Siti has played up the incident in an attempt to damage the father-son relationship.

After the March incident, Siti said that Nazri has been “so afraid”.

That was why she decided to ask the Syariah Courts for a change in the court order for supervised visits instead of unsupervised ones because Nazri “refused to see his father”.

On 29 Oct, the courts ruled that Rosli was now allowed to see his son unsupervised only once a week, either on Saturday or Sunday, from 2 to 6pm.

The move perplexed Rosli.

“I have no idea what traumatised my son because nothing actually happened in the van,” insisted Rosli.

He feels that his son has been “coached by my ex-wife to tell lies” because Siti “is good at creating drama”.

Since the ruling, Siti claimed Rosli would send her SMSes as late as 4am in the morning and “once came with a male friend shouting and kicking my gate to let my son out”.

This has led to her to apply for a PPO.

Rosli explained that he works irregular shifts and hence sends late SMSes at times.

“I send them once after work so that my ex-wife can see it immediately the next morning,” he said.

While he confirmed that he had gone to the flat on 15 Nov this year with a friend,

Rosli denied having kicked the gate or screamed.

For now, he just hopes that his ex-wife would stop “instigating his son to hate him”.

Said Rosli: “I’m disappointed and sad. I just want to see my son.”



This article was first published in The New Paper.

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