Q I OBTAINED my degree in 2006 and have been working for a firm for almost three years now. Under the guidance of my mentor, A, I have become one of the top stars in my company.

A and I share a lot of things in common, especially the way we think. I am 26 and she’s 36, but she looks younger than her age. We can talk about a lot of things without feeling any age gap between us. Most of the time our performance is highly praised by the top management.

I’ve never had any relationship with a girl before. Girls don’t seem to have any interest in me.

I’m not good-looking. A is very attractive and has many relationships before. But she was deeply hurt in her last relationship, which eventually made her change her sexuality.

A helps me in my work and teaches me to be a better guy. She tells me a lot of stuff about how girls think and feel. She teaches me how to “turn” girls on, too.

For the first time in my life, I feel that girls are coming to me. A number of them have confessed their feelings for me, but I rejected them all. I owe it all to A, who is in a relationship with S. Although she pretends to be naive, everyone knows that S is using her as a financial back-up only. A has spent a lot on S, who “repays” her by making her life miserable.

After a big argument recently, A phoned me and we went to a club, where we drank a lot. We started to dance; I don’t know what got into me but suddenly I found myself pushing her against the wall and kissing her. We’ve started seeing each other more and she gives me full access into her house. We do things that couples do and I’m the happiest man on this planet.

But A is still with S and questions keep playing in my mind. What is she trying to do? Is she waiting for me to confess or is she just treating me as her younger brother? I’m on the verge of confessing but I am very scared that it will ruin our relationship.

Confused Young Man

A IF she wasn’t comfortable with the relationship, she would have given you the boot. Since the passionate intimacies have brought you closer physically and emotionally, you have a good chance to take the relationship further.

Allowing you into her house was a positive sign. It could mean that she was prepared to share her private spaces. Younger brother you are not although you have yet to be lovers. So do not be put off by her sexual preference at this point.

She might like girls now but she was involved with guys too. And if you really have feelings for her, why hide behind fear? What have you got to lose if you are sincere and honest?

This woman has been badly hurt before and turning to women for love could be her way of deflecting the pain. S is probably a safe haven she is happy to pay for, so do not criticise or voice your thoughts as A may not take this well. Nobody wants to be seen as a fool who’s being used.

Instead, show your care and concern until you have earned her trust. At work or after, be someone she can rely on, confide in and talk to. When the time is right, show her the depth of your feelings. You have shared more than kisses so why play shy and coy? But do not rush her until she is ready.

Also be mindful that A is different when it comes to love. She will not be able to deal with rejection easily. She needs to be assured that the 10-year gap is not an issue and that you are not playing with her, like those from her past.

She may be smart, sharp and capable in her career but she seems fragile and unsure in her choice of love. She has made mistakes and seems wary of men and pain.

Be very sure of your heart before you bare your soul. You are still young and untried emotionally and this woman must seem attractive and exciting. She has awoken in you a hunger for ambition, success and achievement. Every other young, sweet, simpering female pales in comparison. It is easy to fall in love with a figure of strength and dynamic drive, so do not be confused by admiration and mentor worship.