FAMILY members who keep silent or help their loved ones settle debts are doing more harm than good.

Mr Charles Lee, senior counsellor at the Tanjong Pagar Family Service Centre, said this is known as co-dependency.

The gambler is addicted to gambling, and the one who helps him is addicted to the relationship.

Said Mr Lee, a counsellor for 14 years: “Many people don’t realise the danger they can cause by keeping quiet or bailing them (gamblers) out of debts. The addict, so long as he has money, will continue with his addiction.”

He said addicts seek help from loved ones mainly to clear debts, not because they want to overcome their addiction. To overcome their addiction, they need professional help.

Mr Lee feels family members should refuse financial help to addicts however difficult it is.

He said: “This is tough love. The addict must be made to see that their addiction has brought in a lot of problems.”

If family members continue to settle their debts, addicts might think they need not seek professional help.

Mr Lee said his centre has seen an increase in the number of problem gamblers since it began treating them in 2006.

He said this is because more people are now aware of where to seek help.

Steal from piggy bank

Problem gamblers may end up stealing to feed their addiction.

He knows of fathers who steal from their daughters’ piggy banks and husbands who stole their wives’ jewellery to settle debts.

They tend to suffer from other problems too, like alcoholism and depression.

Mr Lee has noticed a trend of more men going to jackpot machines and more women to table, card and casino games. He couldn’t give a reason for this.

His centre’s helpline is 6593-6489. It is operational on weekdays between 8am and 6pm.