Five years ago and just before I entered college, my mother gave me the most important advice of my life: five criteria for selecting my future boyfriend.
No 1: He should be perfectly healthy and none of his family members should have suffered from serious health problems.
No 2: He should be more educated than me.
No 3: He should be at least 10 cm taller than me.
No 4: He should have a better financial background than me.
No 5: He should have single eyelids.
My mother's advice became mission impossible in my college life simply because in an art school with a male to female ratio of 4:7, finding a man was tricky but a man who met her five criteria was unattainable.
Five years later, as a professional lady armed with a master's degree, I find it even harder to fulfill my mother's dream. To make matters worse, she had a sixth point: "he should have a better job and be better paid than you".
While I understand my mother's good intentions, I cannot understand why in our society so many women look for superior men?
My single girlfriends often complain there are fewer available men on the market. They don't seek millionaires, but they reject anyone who is less "qualified" than them.
Modern Chinese women tell the world that they are men's equals. While they want to be treated the same as men in education and employment, when it comes to relationships, they seek out unbalanced situations.
Perhaps there is a part of every woman that loves the romantic notion of being swept off her feet by a charming gentleman.
But I'd still like to remind all women to stop chasing after superior men. We have fought hard to get equality and we no longer need to be saved.
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Also, I am sure there are men who can meet the five criteria, very few, but definitely there. Unfortunately, I am pretty sure all of them had been snatched up way before they mature and meet the 5 critia... thus the saying, they are either exincted or married.
OK, here's a 'HawLiang' part : I think I was one of those who had the 5 criterias... but guess what?! things changed with time; my wife got a better degree than me, she earns more than me and while I am 10cm taller, I am also much wider now...
The Story:
Dongfang Shuo during Emperor Wu's (Han) reign wrote an article which cited an important quotation. "Water which is too clean has few fish; he who is too critical has few friends." This meant that if the water was too clear, then there would be no fish. This would be because there were no microbes or bacteria that the fish could feed on, thus meaning that they could not survive in this environment. Basically, this quote has to do with people. If someone is too harsh, narrow-minded, and intolerant, or he makes unreasonable demands upon other people, then the only thing that could happen is that he will have very few friends. It is important that we not be too harsh or too critical of others, like clean water not having any fish.
After married for more than 8 years, it take lots of years before and after marriage to build up the relationship. Marriage is just another milestone for that relationship to bloom.
Most couples are going through a honeymoon period after the marriage, later that their eyes are open and see the other side of their spouse. This will require lots of accomodation and tolerance to continue to build that relationship to a further height. Some make it and some do not make it. Those opt for divorce may find it easier to quit as the going get tough.
To me, lots of .....
Do not search for a Perfect Man.. but look for a man who shares the same life & family value! that is more important than anything. Once the man has good moral values, he will not let his wife / his family suffer. Its just that you got no luxury life. But what is luxury life compared to a happy family? I perfer having a contented and well loved family.
There is no perfect man. So stop dreaming, women !!
Technically speaking, if you ain't perfect, don't expect the same for yourself. You think you can spend $50 for something that worths $5million? Fat dream.
Please look at the mirror!
Speaking down to earth, if you keep finding, you will find none because you are not the only woman still living on this planet. If the saying goes, 'every man for himself', the same saying goes, "every woman for herself."
Get real!!!