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Diva
updated 7 Feb 2012, 12:03
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Tue, Feb 07, 2012
The New Paper
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High-IQ husband obsessed with sex
by Vivien Chan

HE MADE her watch pornography and e-mailed links to such websites even when she was working overseas.

When she said she disliked watching porn, he accused her of having a “prudish attitude towards sex” and told her she was “lousy” in bed.

That “lousy” remark was tame compared to other humiliating remarks he made against her, and his intimidating behaviour. The result: She claims she was reduced to a nervous wreck, leading to heart palpitations, anxiety and hair loss.

His obsession with sex, his insults and tantrums eventually led to the break-up of their 9-year-old marriage.

She was first granted a divorce in May this year.

But he refused to let her go.

Last month, his appeal against the divorce was dismissed with costs.

Theirs was a marriage that seemed bright. Both were academically brilliant.

The childless couple, in their 30s, met in 1989 while studying in the same junior college, and started dating in 1998.

They were married two years later.

She studied at the National University of Singapore, while he went on a Government scholarship to study at a top university in the United States.

He was a member of Mensa, a non-profit organisation for those with high IQ, and even made it to the Dean’s list in his first three years in university.

But he dropped out in his final year because he had pneumonia, depression and mental anxiety.

His parents paid off his Government bond. He went on to get a job in New York with a management consulting firm where he worked from 1997 to 1999.

But again he quit.

He was “burnt out”.

He returned to Singapore and has been jobless since then.

Called wife names

She relocated to work in the US in 2001 while he remained in Singapore to receive treatment for problems over his weight, depression and fatty liver.

In several e-mails between husband and wife while they lived apart, he scolded her, called her names, and humiliated her.

The husband’s e-mails were submitted as evidence of his treatment towards her.

In them, he called his wife “a lousy lay”, “a liar” and “a bimbo”, among other things.

They lived apart for almost three years, save for annual December vacations when the wife returned to Singapore.

In her affidavit, she said he was a sexual deviant who spent his days watching pornographic films.

He also e-mailed her links to pornographic websites despite “knowing full well that she did not appreciate or enjoy such things”.

Once, he asked her to buy certain sex books and get her friend to carry it back to Singapore for him.

In one e-mail which he sent with a link to a pornographic website, he wrote: “You look much better even though you are older. But your prudish attitude towards sex and experiment makes you a lousy lay.”

This article was first published in The New Paper.

readers' comments
Only the man is academically brilliant. The woman isn't.

I wonder if the reporter is a retard herself.
Posted by wunder_kind on Thu, 16 Sep 2010 at 19:24 PM
It is the fact that most Singaporean males are not mature and paranoid and cannot face any difficult situation. Fortunately, they do not have any kids. Plus a "fair" judge handle the case.

I agree 200% that the lady make the right decision to divorce him. All women deserve someone better than this type of men...
Posted by fabulousity on Mon, 16 Nov 2009 at 14:00 PM
Live with a sex vampire and stick to the VOW til death? The evil power of his will shall curse her healthy mind with emails, vulgar insults, porn link sites, till she has nightmare after nightmare in the dark. Soon her clean blood runs out, turns her into a walking corpse. But she guided herself against his will. She finally broke through her hell and found safe heaven from the vampire.
Posted by last_laugh on Sun, 15 Nov 2009 at 11:33 AM
Dear AsiaOne Diva

This is a very interesting case since it involved two bright (academically anyway and one with Mensa membershp to boot) kids. The type that our government touted as the best hope for Singapore. Scholars and working at high value add job (at least one of them).

Perhaps the TNP reporter can do a follow up and dig deeper into:

1. what happened to the man in the 4th year? did he start his fascination with sex (experimental, voyagerism, or whatever then) then?;

2. what is going on with the treatment he is getting and if he is going to be more 'normal'?

It is unfortunate that he is sicked.

As for the one who wrote about the vow, I think you need to put yourself into the shoes of .....
Posted by Lukeehong on Sat, 14 Nov 2009 at 22:47 PM
that's why i never buy TNP
Posted by amfreeaccess on Sat, 14 Nov 2009 at 19:29 PM
Perhaps we should review our marriage VOW :

I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

Sad to say very few follow the VOW after marriage.
Posted by Homegrown on Sat, 14 Nov 2009 at 15:38 PM
This is a sad case of Net Sex addiction. The husband could not put the brake to cybersex that takes away his daily life activities and his relationships. He lost his intelligence, confused and compared his wife with porn actresses in those porn movies. This a proof of people's vulnerability to net sex. The wife, born with normal IQ refused the unhealthy involvement and made the right choice to move on with her life. She was absolutely wise to divorce her hopeless husband. Stop labeling high IQ person as permanent raising star until s/he is rolled up Mandia's last 15 feet.
Posted by last_laugh on Sat, 14 Nov 2009 at 15:10 PM
Why are their names NOT mentioned in the article??

I know the journalist standards at NP are rather low, but this is absolute school boy stuff. And people paying money to read these!!!
Posted by johnjohn5025 on Sat, 14 Nov 2009 at 14:59 PM
This man could not take failure well to the extent that he needs to be treated by psychiatric doctor.
Posted by Rightofhuman on Sat, 14 Nov 2009 at 14:08 PM
This is an example of the many insecure guys out there who feel that only by putting his partner down will it boost his confidence and ego. I have a pretty,sexy and capable girlfriend who was descripting to me how in her entire life whereby everyone around her say she is thin but have unfortunately met this guy who actually said she is fat!He picked on her figure, dressing and even the way she sms/email!You can imagine how thankful and glad she was to find all this horrifying traits of this guy before entering into anything with him.She is now happy with a guy that adores her. Hence, to all the girls out there, get out of a controlling freak relationship that drains you mentally.Its not worth it.Live a life you want.
Posted by audricum on Sat, 14 Nov 2009 at 12:51 PM

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