FOR more than two years, she suffered sleepless nights, lethargy and starvation.

Yet Ms Eng Yee Peng did not seek medical help.

The Griffith University Film School graduate had returned to Singapore from Brisbane, Australia, in December 2004.

Despite attaining first class honours, there was a part of her that felt unhappy.

She could not overcome the old insecurities that she had growing up in Singapore.

But she believed she could pull herself out of depression - through distraction.

Writing and film-making were therapy, said Ms Eng, 32, who was nominated for The Singapore Women's Weekly 2009 Great Women of Our Time Awards.

The annual awards programme honours the achievements of women in Singapore who have excelled as leaders in their respective fields.

Ms Eng, who is a film-maker, producer, director and columnist, was one of three contenders in the Arts and Media category. The others were Ms Pat Lin, managing director of media buying agency, PHD Singapore and Ms Chitra Rajaram, director of Newsplex, MediaCorp's new convergent newsroom. Ms Rajaram was the winner of the category.

Ms Eng's 'therapy' made her happier than ever when her self-produced documentary, Diminishing Memories, won the Best Tertiary Documentary at the 19th Queensland New Filmmakers Award competition in Australia in 2005.

It was also screened to international acclaim in the UK, Spain and Japan.

Ms Eng however, admitted lapsing into moments of depression while producing it.

'There were times when I was so immersed in my film and its subject matter.'

The film is based on her memories of life in her then-agricultural Lim Chu Kang kampung. She recalled her 'lost childhood' with a resettlement exercise coming when she was 9.

She chose to live in a rural area near Brisbane to 'relive' her kampung days.

When it was time for her to produce her thesis film, she decided that it was Lim Chu Kang that would be its focus.

Voice told me

'The voice in me told me that I still have not come to terms with the 'death' of Lim Chu Kang,' said Ms Eng.

She embarked on the film with a renewed self-esteem and confidence.

In August last year, Ms Eng produced Diminishing Memories II. Although it was meant as a sequel, Ms Eng said the films can be appreciated independently of each other.

Said Ms Eng: 'While DM (Diminishing Memories) was about finding (Lim Chu Kang), DM II was about accepting and letting go.

'The sadness that accumulated all these years ended with the completion of DM II.'

Both films were screened at the Arts House last year to sell-out crowds.

Ms Eng attributes her success also to the people around her.

Her family was a strong source of support, as was a friend, who, trained in psychology, guided her in her darkest moments.

Although Ms Eng was not clinically diagnosed with depression, she believes that there was a 'need for acknowledgement when something is not right'.

She said: 'There were times when I would cry for nothing.

'Through it (the production of the films), I emerged an emotionally stronger person'.

When asked about her plans in future, Ms Eng said with a smile: 'I just want to live and breathe normally now. There is no hurry to produce new work.

'It is only the beginning.'

This article was first published in The New Paper