PREGNANT women are a strange lot.
If you don’t know by now, baby-related hormones wreak havoc in pregnant women’s bodies, and that turns some of us kind of crazy.
Emotions run amok. Logic is flung out the window.
A four-months-pregnant friend of mine recently chewed her husband out for daring to file their unborn child’s ultrasound pictures in a plastic folder, in which he had also filed some comic strips.
She seethed, stomped and spat, then removed the baby’s pictures from the file, throwing the offending item on the floor for good measure.
Another friend of mine would weep every night for no reason, while expecting her second child.
Her concerned, wonderful husband wrung his hands anxiously and tried his best to comfort this new, uber-emotional woman. She also developed a heightened sensitivity to noise, and would shush him irritably when he turned the pages of his newspaper.
Now in the sixth month of my second pregnancy, I admit that the strangest things set me off, too.
For a while, I developed an irrational aversion to kids. Sitting in the paediatrician’s waiting room with my three-year-old son, Julian, I had to fight the urge to kick the playing children who wandered within my striking range.
Strangely, various types of typography would make me feel nauseous. My journalist friends displayed approval over how my pregnancy symptoms were of a slightly intellectual bent.
Luckily, the Supportive Spouse has been rather adept at adapting to the crazily pregnant me. Actually, he says, I’ve always been crazy anyway, and he hasn’t really been able to spot much of a difference.
But to help other soon-to-be dads out there who are wondering what’s with the frost-to-fire weather at home, here are some tips.
1. Feed the pregnant woman
Ensure that she has enough to eat and the right sort of food to snack on, at all times. Indulge all her cravings, as long as they are healthy and reasonable. If she experiences a drop in her sugar levels at midday, all hell will break loose.
2. Just be there
It sucks to feel tired all the time, to have to retch constantly into a toilet bowl, or feel like a lead balloon perched on two toothpicks about to snap. Where possible, try to offer support like helping to carry any extra load, holding her hand or hair while she pukes, and providing a calm, listening ear when she whines about small grievances.
3. Knead her
They don’t call it ma-ssage for nothing. If all else fails, pack your crazy, emotional pregnant woman off for some serious pampering at a pre-natal spa session (I recently had a 75-minute touch-and-treat at Institut Clarins).
It allows her some me-time, and you’ll get some peace and quiet.
If all else fails, just hold your tongue and bide your time.
After all, nine short months later, there’ll be a new, screaming boss to pander to. And, trust me, the newborn despot would be harder to please than the dethroned queen.
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