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The New Paper, Aug 11, 2009
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Yvonne Lim: 'I cried for a year'
by Kwok Kar Peng

YVONNE Lim's world came crashing down when her cheating fiance dumped her before their marriage.

So depressed was the actress that she even thought of killing herself to end it all, she confided to The New Paper of the break-up that took place five years ago.

She had first talked about it on the Channel U programme Celebritea Break 2 last Wednesday.

The 32-year-old had dated the man, whom she declined to name out of courtesy, for more than a year before he proposed in Sentosa.

The two were introduced by friends when they were teenagers.

Everything seemed perfect. They searched for a home, though they had not made any plans for the wedding.

She also stayed with her fiance - who is not from showbiz - and his family.

But it went haywire.

She confided in me that the man received calls from women in the middle of the night.

'My friends had told me he was seeing other girls behind my back. When the calls came, I knew he was cheating on me but I didn't want to face the truth. I made excuses for his behaviour.'

She also thought he would change, and everything would be fine if she gave in.

Yvonne added the man had a reputation for being a playboy even when they first met 10 years ago.

She tried to convince herself that he had since grown mature and stable, running his own business.

But he hadn't. The man broke up with Yvonne and immediately hooked up with another girl.

Even then, Yvonne was still intent on salvaging the relationship.

She admitted: 'He told me that I cannot call or message him. He would contact me instead. I wanted the relationship back, so I agreed to it.

'I swallowed my pride. He was calling me while still with the other girl. I was the girlfriend, but it had seemed like I was the third party instead! I didn't want the other girl to go through what I did, so I decided to end the relationship.'

Getting over the break-up was excruciating.

Not wanting her family to worry about her, she rented an apartment and moved out of her family home for six months so her family would not learn the truth.

Even her friends and colleagues didn't know of the ordeal she was going through. Only a few of her closest friends were privy to the secret.

She said there was a time when she would often break down and keep crying. But the toughest time was when she went to China alone to work.

She confessed: 'I was very depressed. I couldn't drown my sorrows because I couldn't drink. I even thought I should just die.

'A few of my friends were very worried about me and they called me many times to console me.'

She chalked up about $2,000 in overseas phone bills over a period of time. .

'I put so much into the relationship. I even told some friends we were engaged. I didn't know what went wrong, but I blamed myself for working overseas so often,' she confided.

Threw his gifts away

While nursing the heartbreak, she deleted his number from her handphone and threw away everything he gave her, including his photos. Yvonne declined to say what she did with the engagement ring.

But when you hit rock bottom and can't go any lower, she said, you'll bounce back. She said she took two years to cut all ties with him and to finally move on.

Now stronger and wiser, she's learnt to trust her instincts and love herself more.

She's also more cautious and a bit cynical.

'I used to believe love and chemistry are all that a relationship needs,' she said. 'But now I've realised that I need to understand him and accept his flaws, without hoping he would change.'

Yvonne is dating someone and slowly getting to know him better.

She also hopes he'll use the time to understand the nature of her job, especially with her public profile and the long hours of filming. 'I'm not so impulsive anymore. I remind myself of that painful period because I'm not at an age when I can still do 'trial and error' in relationships,' she said.

This article was first published in The New Paper

readers' comments
Its her story against his. I believe it takes 2 hands to clap should a relationship survive or fall apart. In this case, I believe she is not entirely without fault too cos of her reputation since younger days.
Posted by J4smine on Mon, 17 Aug 2009 at 15:52 PM
Aiyoh... why is woman airing her dirty laundry in public. She has no respect for her current fiance's or future husband's feelings. Already he has to live with the knowledge that she has been used as a playboy's sex toy, now the whole world also knows. Even if she doesn't care about her rep - she should consider her current boyfriend's interests.
Posted by on Thu, 13 Aug 2009 at 08:20 AM
Yvonne
To almost every Singaporean, you are a sweetheart. As a person,
I understand the traumatic experiences you encountered as I
too experiences it. Let history be history.
Be positive and move on.

Open up to let others take care of you. In life, it is who
will really care and love you that matters.
May luv b always be with you.
Posted by centurion on Thu, 13 Aug 2009 at 07:23 AM
Why need to tell the whole world about it. She still want to get married right.
Posted by taipingking on Thu, 13 Aug 2009 at 06:20 AM
OMG, crying for a year!. Yes its about time to grow up, considering that in your 30s you still have plenty of time on your side.

I supposed you went into the "relationship" with your eyes open?

What was it he wanted that makes him asked for an engagement anyway?

Take this, unless you really want to have kids and start a family, staying unmarried is the way to go.
Posted by novicereporter on Wed, 12 Aug 2009 at 19:43 PM
Yvonne..
U r a brave woman. Yes, grieve over yr loss and U have made a very wise choice.
A leopard cannot change their spots overnight. What comes around, goes around.
If he behaves like that, and does not turn to live right. Forget him...

He is NOT the only guy on planet Earth. May God bless U with a honest, good man who will love U for who U r and cherish U.

What a man is now, he will be still in marriage.

If u cannot accept his behavior... it is so much wiser to break off than live with it.

Forget & forgive him. Also forgive yrself ! :-) Life is worth living... Blessings to U !
Posted by Tsunamiw4ve on Wed, 12 Aug 2009 at 18:43 PM
You deserve better! What goes around, comes around! He might face the same of what he did to you!
Posted by on Wed, 12 Aug 2009 at 16:27 PM
u r not the only person in this world who r in this position,so why sacrifice yur dear life tat yur mum has given 2 u,the more hard knock u get , the stronger u will b,
That idiot will have his retribution
Fall down,stand up n walk on
WHERE DO PPL LIVE LIFE WITHOUT PROBLEM,THE Q IS HOW U DEAL WITH IT,BUT NEVER SACRIFICE YUR DEAR LIFE
Posted by on Wed, 12 Aug 2009 at 13:57 PM
Yvonnne, I like you because I think that you are a nice girl with no airs. And, no, your ex-fiance is not even handsome but a guy with ordinary looks. But let's stop from there. Be brave and don't ever think of killing yourself anymore because even if you were dead, the heartless ******* will not even shed tears for you. The ones who will are your family members and friends who care for you. Go on with your life and I am sure that one day, you will find your true happiness with Mr Right. Remember, it is better to be safe than sorry.
Posted by malinablu on Wed, 12 Aug 2009 at 11:51 AM
first thing, those who qualified as playboys are usually very attractive. and usually actractive guys arent good (most). when girls throw themselves, how could he reject? yvonne is getting old and there are always better girls around. so this kind of thing happened.

just go find a good honest man, dont go for outlook and worst an ex playboy.
Posted by EnigmaE on Wed, 12 Aug 2009 at 11:43 AM

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