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Diva
updated 23 Dec 2011, 13:10
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Fri, Dec 23, 2011
Diva
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"I found out my husband is gay"

34-year-old ad executive Serena Goh thought she had a good marriage and husband, and had always respected her husband Damien’s privacy. But she never expected to find out his secret. She tells her story to Simply Her.

Their courtship began after they met at a birthday party for a mutual friend. One year later, Damien proposed to Serena during a trip to Hong Kong. Another year later, they were happily married, and friends and family were sure their mariage would last. They were even talking about having children.

When things were going well, Serena told Simply Her that 32-year-old Damien became close to his colleague, Jeremy. As a sales manager, he often travelled for work, and the two soon began travelling together. They would hang out often, chugging beer and watching soccer.

When Damien started sleeping over at Jeremy’s place the night before a work trip, Serena became suspicious. He also refused her offers to pick him up at the airport.

Serena wanted to know why Damien spent so much time with Jeremy, but he told her to “get off his back”.  When she enquired about Jeremy’s love life, Damien would flare up, asking if she read his text messages.

But he would apologize later and claimed he loved her.

When Damien surprised Serena with tickets to Bali, she  thought their marriage was improving. But he cancelled the trip one week before they set off, claiming he had to go on a work trip to Bangkok.

The next day after Damien flew off, Serena received a text message from a mutual friend. It read: “Hey, I saw Damien and Jeremy yesterday at the mall but I was in a rush and didn’t say hello to them.”

She rushed home to look through Damien’s laptop, and chanced on a folder where she discovered detailed and graphic e-mails between Jeremy and Damien about their illicit affair that dated back to six months.

When Damien returned, he talked excitedly about the “funny incidents” that happened during the trip.

When she confronted him with their friend's account of having seen him in town, he became panic-stricken.

He lied, telling her it was a surprise for her.

They both knew the marriage ended when she left the house, after she confronted him about the emails she discovered, her heart broken.

It’s been two years since her divorce. Serena is now dating someone again, but admits she’s quite cynical and distrusting. She said of her current guy: “I’m glad he is understanding and patient, even if he doesn’t know the details of my past."


For the full story, get your May copy of Simply Her at all major newsstands now.

readers' comments
Damien = Demon
Gay not = to Bisexual.
Damien = Bisexual
Posted by Magenta on Fri, 7 Aug 2009 at 13:53 PM
aw... the man is at fault!! if he simply just wanted to depict to everyone his "normal" and hide his "gay" part. Its simply too sad for the lady. He doesn't think for her, nor to be exact I would like to question his "love" for her...
Posted by appleism on Fri, 7 Aug 2009 at 12:43 PM


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Wow.. then What did u do when that guy squeeze squeeze yr upper arm ?

Did u stare him in the eye, and then pinch pinch his fingers off ?:eek:

Yeah... better interview more gays... U may start with HungryForTruth & Goypride on here. I am sure they will give U some "tips" !:D
Posted by Tsunamiw4ve on Sat, 1 Aug 2009 at 23:01 PM
what happen during the marriage and relationship before it?
Posted by clevergirl on Sat, 1 Aug 2009 at 22:26 PM
That my dear ladies and gent means, the ex-hubby is a "closeted gay" who use marriage to Serena as a smoke screen and so that the family and friends doesn't suspect he is gay. I find it pathetic and lame. Wishing Serena all the best and may she find happiness soon..:)
Posted by sarahmarican on Mon, 6 Jul 2009 at 12:41 PM
Dear Liquidos,

I think you are really not in your right mind too.. It was Serena's husband who has a problem, not Serena. If the 3rd party was a lady, I'd say Serena need to do self check. But obviously, that guy has a problem himself, nothing to do with Serena. He could have been so before married Serena, used her as a smoke screen, or he could have developed such due to influence etc.
Posted by SYTeoTammie on Tue, 5 May 2009 at 17:40 PM
Walau eh... maybe the wife should go look for other gals or guys instead. ;)
Posted by extremepower on Sat, 2 May 2009 at 23:02 PM
Serena Goh should take a real good look of herself in the mirror. It could be her character that has pushed Damien to react in such manner...he was straight but now....maybe Serena can't provide the things Damien urges for!
Posted by Liquidos on Thu, 30 Apr 2009 at 20:00 PM


It's hard to say why a man can turn gay. Maybe if U got watch 'Brokeback Mountains' then more or less we know.
Some guys somehow like guys. I used to have a colleague whom I quite irritated with cos he always like to hold my upper arm and squeeze squeeze when we talking, ..an act which I thought normally by a guy on a gal!...:D .

And then some men will keep starring (not the samseng look) at other guys like machiam admiring the guys, the look of the way a normal guy would see a gal!!..

Maybe some men think having man-man relationship better than man-woman ..
Dunno la..dun ask me I guessed guessed only. Nee dto interview more of the gays to find out more..... :D
Posted by gundamwingX on Thu, 30 Apr 2009 at 17:49 PM
"If the man was born to be gay, why he marry with a women whom he may causing hurt if his wife know about his secret"

Peer Pressure.
Posted by 0517elias on Thu, 30 Apr 2009 at 16:43 PM

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