WHAT happened to celebrating your kids’ successes, especially the small ones? That was the question I asked myself as I left the Delta Sports Complex.

And I am glad that I asked it.

I had just watched my sons play in the third-place match of the B Division Schools’ National hockey competition.

Their team had taken the lead with a brilliant reverse stick goal, but not only gave away the advantage within minutes, they went 1-2 down soon after.

And for most of the game I was getting upset with the way the boys were playing.

The score did not change at the final whistle and the boys finished fourth.

I must admit that I left feeling quite angry. I found myself thinking back to the past and the dictum established by the missus when the kids were born.

Let’s celebrate all their successes, especially the small ones, she had said.

So we went out for dinner whenever one of the children aced a test.

We celebrated a child’s selection into a class committee.

We celebrated when two of them were appointed school prefects.

We went out when both my sons ran for their houses in the school’s sports meet, never mind that they did not win.

Our celebrations were for their effort, insisted the missus, although I did suspect that they were also good excuses not to cook at home. Of course,we celebrated when any of the kids – two boys, two girls – did well in examinations or their co-curricular activities in school.

There was certainly no excuse not to eat out when they received any award, academic or otherwise.

Looking back, I’m thankful for the missus and her ideas onpositive strokes for the kids.

I think the kids have grown up feeling good about themselves, even if we had to make them exercise harder to lose the flab that was added on after each celebration.

But somehow, these celebrations have kind of tapered off in the last two years. It’s not because they are doing just as well. No, they are still holding class and school positions, they are still playing sports for their school,and they are doing okay academically.

Somehow,as they went to secondary school, the bar seems to have been raised – by both the parents and the kids.

The kids are not as excited with small successes. They maybe bogged down with so many more things in their lives that small celebrations are no longer important.

But I am also wondering if Iam responsible for all of that. After celebrating their birthdays for 12 years, with each party having the same relatives and friends, I was getting tired of it.

When the kids did not protest too strongly at my suggestion that we stop the parties, the celebratory mood subsided a bit.

So today I am taking the family out for dinner – to celebrate the boys’ fourth-place finish, the younger girl’s gold medal for javelin – and resume celebrating small successes.

This article was first published in The New Paper .