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Tue, Dec 10, 2013
The Straits Times
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Humiliated by police officer
by Wong Kim Hoh

But she also recalled being humiliated when she identified her attacker from a photograph and a woman officer remarked: "He's handsome. Are you sure he is not your boyfriend and you willingly did it with him?"

Ms Azura said: "I was a victim, and I was getting these questions."

That experience is one of the reasons she has decided to come forward now. "What the policewoman said to me is one of the reasons rape victims do not come forward to make reports. That has to change," she said.

Indeed, a 2009 study funded by the National University of Singapore found that three in four women who experience physical or sexual violence do not make reports.

Aware's own data backs this up. "Only one in three clients of our Sexual Assault Befrienders Service makes a police report," said Ms Kokila Annamalai, We Can's campaign coordinator. The befriender service receives about 16 calls a month.

Recovery for Miss Azura - who went on to complete her studies in game design at the Institute of Technical Education - took a long time.

She is thankful for counsellors who persevered with her, including her "big sisters" at The Beautiful People, a volunteer group which helps troubled teenage girls reintegrate into society.

Ms Phyllis Ng, 48, one of the group's mentors who has worked with Miss Azura for four years, said: "She realised that staying in her situation of being depressed was not good and she was looking for a way to move out of her trauma."

One of the first things Ms Azura did after she was allowed to see her family was to have an emotional heart-to-heart talk with her mother.

"She said she felt very sad about what happened to me and she apologised. She also told me about her own past," she said. Her mother revealed that she herself had been raped by a relative when she was in her teens.

"After that, I told myself I had to let go," said Miss Azura.

She has written a script for a short film about rape. The Beautiful People and a local production company are now helping her to produce it.

She said that she lives with her mother, who knows she is going public today as a rape victim.

"She was a bit afraid people will judge her. But I told her, 'No friends or relatives came forward to help when things happened to me, so why should you be scared of their judgment now?'"

Aware's Ms Kokila said what Ms Azura is doing is important.

"She is making public the usually hidden human face of sexual assault. Together with We Can!, she will take her message to schools and other community groups, showing other victims that they are not alone and encouraging the rest of us to show empathy and understanding, which will help pave the way for a more welcoming atmosphere for other victims."

Ms Ng of The Beautiful People agreed.

"When she can take the step of going public to motivate and inspire others who are going through what she did, it means she has really moved on."

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