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Tue, Mar 10, 2009
The New Paper
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What makes some people universally attractive?
by David Tian

THREE components are fundamental to becoming a universally attractive gal or guy: Be happy, be busy and be present.

First, be happy. This doesn't mean that you are always smiley and giddy like an innocent schoolchild. It doesn't mean that you aren't concerned about environmental degradation or how you're possibly going to finish all that work your boss just assigned you. This doesn't mean being without ambition or being complacent.

Rather, this is, on the one hand, a deep self-contentment. You are satisfied with where you are in life, how far you've come, and where you are headed. You've come to terms with your mistakes in the past and appreciate your past triumphs. You are content with the progress and trajectory you see in your relationships, career, and whatever other areas of your life you value.

On the other hand, you are living a life of passion. You enjoy how you spend most of your time, whether this is at work, at your hobbies or with family and friends. You feel intensely and you are in touch with your emotions, good and bad.

Love the life you lead

If you aren't content with yourself and aren't passionate about how you spend your time, this is the first thing you must set about changing. If you don't even like yourself and your own life, how can you expect an attractive person of the opposite gender to like you and want to become part of your life?

Attractive people have confidence in themselves that has nothing to do with their looks or jobs. They simply feel good about themselves and this makes them intensely desirable.

Second, be busy. Part of being passionate is having things to be passionate about. If you don't have any hobbies or special interests outside your job, then develop them now. Universally attractive people usually have a full schedule packed with activities and events they enjoy.

Busy people don't rush to return social phone calls, often end social phone conversations first and have to turn down many social invitations (nicely, of course) because they don't have the time to accept them all.

Busy people are often simply too busy to waste their time wondering whether someone of the opposite gender likes them. And that makes the opposite gender want them all the more.

Third, be present. No matter how busy you are, make time for social events. If you are buried in your work every day, then it's no wonder why you have a miserable social life and never make any new friends.

Get out there. Schedule at least one social activity a week. Go to singles' parties. Gather your friends for an outing. Volunteer at a charitable organisation. Take up a new hobby that involves group activities. Meet new people, broaden your horizons, and practise your social skills.

Be happy. Be busy. Be present.

Learn more about dating expert Dr Date at his website: www.powerofbeingasian.com.

This article was first published in The New Paper.

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