NO PRIVACY, no dignity and no future for herself. That's how Cantopop star Gillian Chung felt after intimate pictures of her and actor Edison Chen were leaked online.
'I showed everything to everyone, and no matter what I do, I'll get the blame. But dignity is the most important thing,' she said.
Gillian broke her silence more than a year after the incident in an interview on TVB's Be My Guest series, hosted by TVB general manager Stephen Chan Chi Wan.
The interview is due to be screened today, reported the South China Morning Post.
In an excerpt of the interview aired on the evening news in Hong Kong earlier this week, Gillian said that she was so devastated after the scandal broke last January that she thought about killing herself.
When asked who she blamed most for the scandal, a teary-eyed Gillian, who is half of Cantopop duo Twins, replied: 'I blame myself - I blame myself for all of it.
'I blame myself for doing something so stupid.'
She added that the scandal had put 'immense stress' on her, and that she had briefly contemplated suicide, because she was 'disillusioned' and 'could not see a future for herself'.
She said: 'But if I died, all my problems will be passed on to the people around me - the people who care about me would be very sad.
'That's why I eventually banished that thought (of suicide).'
Why did she do it?
When asked why she took the photos, the singer said: 'I don't know... Maybe I don't want to lose...'
But she did not elaborate.
Gillian's interview came just days after a similar interview with Hong Kong actress Cecilia Cheung, 28, another celebrity caught up in the scandal.
Other victims include Bobo Chan and Rachel Ngan.
In Cecilia's interview, the first half of which was broadcast on Friday, the actress burst into tears and slammed Edison for failing to protect, console or apologise to the women who were affected by the incident.
She was responding to Edison's remarks during a special hearing in a Canadian court last month.
Edison said he was 'determined to protect the girls' innocence', and told the court that the pictures of various celebrities in compromising positions were posted on the Internet after his laptop was stolen.
A Hong Kong technician has been charged with illegally posting the pictures online.
The scandal, which made front page news all over Hong Kong when the pictures were first released, is seeing a huge amount of renewed interest thanks to the court case, as well as Edison's first public appearance.
The actor was in Singapore earlier this month for two corporate events.
Some pundits in the Hong Kong media have speculated that the interviews with Cecilia and Gillian have been timed to torpedo Edison's hopes of reviving his flagging career.
Cecilia's interview generated widespread sympathy for the actress, and Gillian's interview could do the same for the pop star.
thegreymare