PARENTS work hard every day for their children’s future and pray that their children will not make the same mistakes as they did in the past.
But children live for the present.
They seize the moment to love and take delight in everything they see, hear and feel.
Most parents feel pressured to safeguard their children’s future.
They put them in the best schools and enrol them in various classes so that they can learn as much as possible. One 10-year-old boy mapped out his day on a piece of paper. Looking at the detailed account of what he participates in daily, I asked him when is leisure time. He told me that it is when he goes to bed.
Ask any parent with adult children, whether they have any regrets of the past. Many would tell you: “I wish I had spent more time with my children.”
In a newspaper article, one Hong Kong businessman who suffered great loss in the economic crisis said that he finally got a chance to slow down and spend more time with his family.
Parents often worry that they will spoil their children. Some treat their children harshly, calling them derogatory names and punishing them whenever a behaviour is deemed inappropriate.
According to Dr Maria Montessori, during the first three years of life, children are guided by what nature has intended for them. They have natural instincts to learn in a way that is best suited for them.
It is important that parents respect this inner teacher. Well-meaning parents who do not fully grasp what the child really needs from them will unwittingly frustrate his efforts by making him follow their lead and keep up with fast-moving schedules.
Instead of reaching their full potential, children feel stressed out and misunderstood.
School-age children who are overwhelmed by homework and exams find no outlet to express their frustration. They get punished in school for not passing up their homework; at home they face the music for not doing well in school.
When asked whether their parents love them, many children will say: “I know they love me when they buy me things I want. And when I do well in school.”
Children equate their parents’ affection to gifts. Parents need to be happy, well-adjusted adults, so that their interactions with their children will foster emotional stability.
Sharing lots of hugs and kisses can help children overcome stress and make them happy and healthy.
Sometimes when parents sacrifice time for their children, they find that the child is not interested in interacting with them. And then they want their parent’s complete attention at the most inappropriate time. This can be upsetting for busy and stressed out parents.
Children need time alone with their parents. They need to know this is a priority and not a burden for their parents. If you have very little time in the morning, make time for your child in the evening.
Doing homework together is not spending time alone with your child. He needs you to find him interesting to be with.
Arrange for some time alone with your child. You may not be able to do this with your child every day.
Some of my best memories of childhood were the times my mother and I spent reciting poems together. Now whenever possible, I will pick up a poetry book and read aloud to my girls.
The idea here is to share what you love.
My mother-in-law used to tell stories from the Bible to her children whenever she could find some time.
Today, her grown-up children are constantly reminded of the values and beliefs they picked up during those treasured moments with their mother.