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Tue, Mar 12, 2013
The Sunday Times
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Love after 40- Ivy finds love at last
by Melissa Sim

Told she was too old by a dating agency, real estate queen Ivy Lee is having the last laugh - or blissful wedded smile - eight years later.

Ms Lee, now 49, is marrying her 52-year-old beau this month after a year-long courtship.

In 2005, the divorced mother of two, then 41, was turned away by a dating agency. She went public with her story in Sunday LifeStyle in 2006 - prompting a flood of more than 100 e-mail messages from potential suitors (she did not follow up on any; "it was too overwhelming"). Older singletons held her up as a poster girl.

In February last year, the chief executive of real-estate company Ivy Lee Realty met managing director Chua Choy Soon on a Saturday. A mutual friend introduced them and they started texting each other the following Monday. And just three days later, MrChua asked Ms Lee to be his wife - via SMS.

She did not accept, but says "it was so bold, it got me interested in him".

Nor did he give up. Fast-forward 13 months and the pair are set to be hitched on March 23 at Marina Bay Sands' The Sands Grand Ballroom, before about 800 banquet guests.

When you meet them now, it is obvious that the couple are still in the heady stages of new love.

They touch often and coo endearments, calling each other "darling" during the interview.

Mr Chua reveals that they hug while riding the escalators in malls, unfazed by stares from other shoppers.

"We purposely hug more to see their reaction," he says cheekily.

But theirs is not a teenage love affair, and the two are certain that they are good for each other.

Mr Chua, a self-confessed workaholic, says Ms Lee brings balance to his life and "gets him out of the office earlier than before".

Meanwhile, Ms Lee says her fiance, who has two children from a previous marriage, has taught her to control her hot temper.

She adds: "We think alike. We both have children, we can discuss business and we seem to be able to read each other's minds.

"We talk a lot and communicate a lot. That was missing in both our previous marriages."

While she has had two boyfriends since her divorce in 2003, she says, they "didn't work out". Only Mr Chua has been able to sweep her off her feet.

Mr Steven Loh, the friend who introduced them, knew Ms Lee through their grassroots work in the Bukit Timah area.

He is also Mr Chua's former colleague.

Says Mr Loh, 49, who owns a real estate advisory company: "They have both reached the pinnacle of life as far as their careers are concerned and both are lovely and caring. I expected they would be a good pair."

Ms Lee and Mr Chua's first lunch meeting, however, did not go well.

Thinking it was a casual meeting, he had put on a polo T-shirt and cargo pants. Expecting a contact lunch, she went suited up in business attire.

"I was a little put off and offended by his dressing, so we exchanged cards and didn't talk much," she recalls.

"But I did notice this hand that kept putting food on my plate," she adds, on how attentive he was.

Mr Chua, on the other hand, had a very positive first impression.

"I really liked her smiley face," says the managing director at SEB Asset Management, which deals in commercial real estate.

Previously, he had worked in the Republic of Singapore Air Force and then the Government of Singapore Investment Corporation (GIC) Real Estate, and had been living in Europe for more than 20 years.

He and his German wife are divorced and his grown-up twin son and daughter, 28, live in Canada and the United States.

In their numerous text messages in the days after they met, Ms Lee and Mr Chua discussed their previous relationships, families and careers.

Ms Lee also let him in on a dream she had: Her Prince Charming has a full head of white hair. It is a look that Mr Chua happens to sport.

"I told him I like his hair, it's very distinguished," she says with a wide grin.

Mr Chua made his surprise SMS proposal because he felt they had a special connection - "like we had known each other before".

In response, Ms Lee was calm and level-headed. "Come back to Singapore and we will get to know each other," she wrote.

A week after their first meeting, she took him to her nephew's birthday party. There, he met her sons - now 21 and 20 - and her large extended family.

Says Mr Chua: "I asked her if she was sure, because I didn't know them, but it turned out very well."

On her part, says Ms Lee: "I was observing him to see how he got along with my family members."

And he passed the test.

After about a month of dating, Mr Chua asked Ms Lee's sons out to dinner to get to know them better. They got along well, and Ms Lee's elder son, Kenneth Kum, even told them they should get married soon - before he flew off to study land economy in Cambridge University later that year.

Mr Chua then asked to meet Ms Lee's aunts. Her mother had given her up when she was a month old and she was raised by her grandmother and two aunts.

At their meeting at Grand Shanghai restaurant in Havelock Road, her 60-something aunts were shocked when Mr Chua asked for their permission to marry Ms Lee. The couple had known each other for only a short time, they protested.

But, by the end of their dinner meeting, they consented.

Their only condition? Mr Chua had to promise to always love MsLee and her sons.

In April last year, the couple got engaged. A 31/2-carat diamond ring now sparkles on Ms Lee's ring finger.

Mr Chua also sped up his plans to relocate to Singapore and bought an apartment in Sentosa Cove.

The couple have yet to decide if they will live in his 1,700sqft Sentosa Cove apartment or her 6,000sqft bungalow in Eng Kong Garden after they get married.

On their big day, Ms Lee's sons and MrChua's brother will be the best men.

Approving of their union, her younger son John Kum, 20, says: "I think they are both quite happy together."

Referring to Mr Chua, Mr Kum, who is preparing to read computer science at Warwick University later this year, adds: "Dad is quite generous and gives mum what she wants."

Although she always thought she would re-marry, Ms Lee, who has won numerous industry awards and branched out into property development, says she was also "very happy on my own".

Casting a lovey-dovey look at her man, she says: "I was happily settled, and prepared to not get married again. Then he appeared and swept me off my feet."

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