Annoying male habit 1: Adjusting your private parts

The day that women discover the secret to a man's love for fiddling with his private parts will be a joyous occasion. Surely that much scratching and re-adjusting can't be good for you; why hasn't someone invented a cure for this frustrating problem by now? The image of a man lying on the sofa with his manhood in one hand and a bag of... well, nuts in the other, certainly won't make it into a list of women's top 10 sexual fantasies any time soon. Whilst we understand you sometimes need to 'sort the boys out' for comfort purposes, at least do it while we're not looking.

Annoying male habit 2: Selective hearing

Choosing to watch the television over listening to your other half is never going to end well because it's insulting. Are women really that boring? Or do you only enjoy conversations about sex and food? Tuning in and out of conversations isn't really an option; you're either having a chat with us, or you aren't. Maybe all conversations should take the form of 'Sex. Please take the bin out' or 'Food. Can I have a cuddle?' or maybe even 'I'm naked. Your tea has been on the side for half an hour'. Please don't make us do this.

Annoying male habit 3: Leaving a trail of mess

What is it with the male tendency to leave the story of their day behind in a long trail of mess like a storyboard? When we get home from work we don't need to ask what you've been up to on your day off; we can see that you had a shower and a shave, played on your game, had lunch, played on a different game and then watched films. Is this a strategic trail that you leave behind so you can find your way back to the fridge? Or is it so you needn't bother telling us about your day when we get home? Please enlighten us, and in the meantime, pick your mess up.

Annoying male habit 4: Leaving the remnants of your shaving session in the sink

Men, if you walked into the bathroom only to find used makeup wipes and the hair from our freshly shaved legs around the bathroom, we're sure you'd find it somewhat bothersome. We seem to face a similar problem every morning with your short curly hairs and bits of stubble. It's not pleasant at all. Just because you hate the boring process of shaving, don't bring us into your battle against the beard and overgrown chest hair.

Annoying male habit 5: Man flu

The term 'man flu' has permeated public consciousness to suggest that men exaggerate their cold symptoms as a way of getting attention from their female counterparts. If you're as strong and enduring as you claim to be, then don't break down when you have a cold. We dread to think how you'd cope with period pain and childbirth - thank your lucky stars you're a man.

Annoying male habit 6: Spending all your money on technical stuff

If we go on a shopping spree and return with a handful of bags, we never hear the end of it. Yet men seem to have a bottomless bank of money when it comes to games and technical stuff. We're willing to call compromise on this one though; if you're going to spend your money on stuff you don't really need, let us do the same without feeling guilty about it. You buy your games, we'll buy our shoes, and we'll call it a truce.

Annoying male habit 7: Leaving the toilet seat up

The troublesome toilet seat; who would have known it could cause such a fuss? Indeed, no list of men's annoying habits is complete without the classic toilet seat argument getting a mention. We understand that you need to lift it up - we'd only complain about you dirtying the seat if you didn't - but what's wrong with putting it back down again after?