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updated 1 Feb 2009, 13:10
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Wed, Jan 28, 2009
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Tolerance key to long marriages
by Dawn Tay

THE first time Mrs Ho Heng Kia met her husband was also the day their families met to discuss their wedding plans.

There was no time for romance, or anything else. All that would come later.

Mrs Ho, 79, and her husband Koon Teck, 83, were among the 50 couples who renewed their marriage vows last Saturday at the Singapore Flyer.

The event, organised by Neo Studios and Kreta Ayer-Kim Seng Citizens' Consultative Committee, was held in conjunction with the release of Jack Neo's new movie, Love Matters.

The Hos told my paper that while they have been married for 60 years, renewing their vows was still a fun, novel experience.

Mrs Ho said in Mandarin:

"Arranged marriages were common then; whatever our parents said, we had to obey them. But we slowly grew to love one another, and we're happy."

Asked why they stayed married, Mr Ho looked at his wife and said: "She's very beautiful... her character's beautiful too."

Although he now walks with the help of a walking stick and she is partially blind, the couple still go to the market together every week.

The secret to their happy marriage? "Tolerance," Mrs Ho said.

The sentiment rang true for the other couples who turned up that day to renew their vows. Romance was not as important as understanding - and accepting - each other's temperaments.

Mr and Mrs Goh Seng Lim, who have been married for 26 years, agreed.

In 1983, when they got engaged after dating for a month, they had to be content with a simple wedding ceremony without a dinner reception because they wanted to save money.

Mrs Goh, a 45-year-old housewife, said: "It was exciting to relive the romance of our wedding. This time, we could invite friends and family to a dinner."

The couple met while she was working as a waitress. Every day, Mr Goh, a deliveryman, would wait for her to finish work so he could walk her home.

The couple have three unmarried children, all in their early 20s.

Mrs Goh's advice for those who want to get married?

"Always put family first," she said.


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