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updated 27 Aug 2012, 02:06
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Sat, Aug 18, 2012
The New Paper
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Rocked by fashion flops
by Jeanmarie Tan

With its decadent 1980s rock 'n' roll theme, new movie musical Rock Of Ages has a trashy cheesiness to it that you'll either love or hate.

But who would've thought its vibe would translate so strongly onto its female stars on the red carpet premiere in Los Angeles?

Unfortunately, there's more to hate than love here.

It's as if the Rock Of Ages' women took a trip down to Tackyville and emerged looking cheap and slightly crazed.

They even made contemporary couture as hard on the eyes as most 1980s fashion.

1. Leading lady Julianne Hough is pretty, young and has a body to die for.

Yet, the 24-year-old American actress - who plays a wannabe singer navigating the perks and pitfalls of the infamous Sunset Strip - never seems to get anything right.

The neon yellow single-shoulder silk crepe column gown from Kaufmanfranco was a bold choice for the newbie and certainly grabbed attention.

But the side and back-splits - courtesy of nude illusion panelling - was a little too low-class for my taste.

The sloppy lopsided top-knot and orangey-red lipstick are equally questionable.

2. Even though she only has a supporting role in Rock Of Ages as a Rolling Stone reporter, Malin Akerman one-upped Hough in the skin-baring stakes and took cut-outs to a whole new level.

The 34-year-old Swedish actress stepped out in a look-at-me, slit-up-to-there Reem Acra black gown with silver metallic panels, paired with black Giuseppe Zanotti mesh sandals.

Is it me or is this crotch-brushing garment held together by a single thread?

One wrong move and we could've witnessed a different kind of show altogether.

3. Welsh actress Catherine Zeta-Jones plays the movie's main antagonist, a staunchly conservative mayor's wife.

And boy is she antagonising me with her get-up.

The 42-year-old was obviously trying too hard to fit in with her younger, sexier co-stars because she decided to turn up as Jennifer Lopez.

This Zuhair Murad one-sleeve nude and black lace cocktail dress with asymmetrical hemline - matched with black Elie Saab double ankle-strap T-bar platform sandals - is too short, unflattering and truly quite hideous.

More importantly, she doesn't look like the Zeta-Jones we remember.

4. Speaking of proportions that are way off, US R&B diva Mary J Blige, 41, squeezed herself into a shiny black trash bag.

Or rather, an unforgiving tight long-sleeve black stretch leather dress from Catherine Malandrino that made her look lumpy and dumpy.

Blige, who portrays a soulful club owner, completed the look with unnecessary chunky accessories, Barbara Bui black snakeskin wooden strappy sandals and a 40s-inspired victory roll hairstyle.

Wrong era, diva!

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