I met Peter (not his real name) 12 years ago. I was a journalist then, covering an event for Earth Day, and got sound bites from him for my story.
To be honest, he was rather nondescriptlooking, but he struck me as warm and sincere and we hit it off instantly. I wasn’t surprised when he asked for my number. He called the next day and asked me out. That was the start of our whirlwind romance.
He was a true gentleman, picking me up from my office to accompany me home every day.
After a week, he proposed. I was shocked – we barely knew each other and he was my first boyfriend.
Still, I said ‘yes’. He seemed like husband material, and I’d always thought it romantic to marry your first love. I also liked that he came from a close-knit family with loving parents. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world.
We tied the knot in 2000, six months after he had proposed, but things went wrong from the get-go.
Soon after we moved into our new home, he changed. He started abusing me verbally. He’d say things like ‘That’s not the way to clean the floor!’ whenever I did the housework and scold me relentlessly if I didn’t cook food he liked or the way he liked it.
He even called me ‘ugly’ and ‘smelly’ at times. I didn’t know when he’d have an outburst and that put me on edge all the time.
What upset me the most was that he didn’t want to have sex with me. He didn’t even like hugging or cuddling.
We had agreed to wait until we got married to do the deed as we were both religious, but he only asked me for oral sex. I always did it because I thought it was part of my wifely duties to do as my husband said. I didn’t even get oral sex from him in return.
After several months, I spoke to his mother about our problems.
She suggested we see a psychologist specialising in marriage counselling. I agreed because I didn’t know what to do anymore.
Peter didn’t think anything was wrong but went along because he was afraid of getting a shelling from his mother if he refused. At the seventh session, our psychologist told both of us that he thought Peter was gay.
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Also, check out the July 2012 issue for these stories:
a) 14 New Must-Haves. From an updated LBD to look-at-me jewellery
b) Help It’s An Emergency. Look fab on the plane (and off it) with these spill-proof and mess-free essentials.
c) Love At First Sight. Can you find your soulmate by staring into a man’s eyes? We put it to the test.