I married at 38 and my husband was 40 then. Nine months ago, he got a new job and said he had to go on monthly outstation trips, or work late and sleep over in the office.
I felt sorry that he had to work like a bull to provide for the family. I'm financially better off than him and did ask him to change jobs because our twins were usually asleep when he came back.
However, my family, especially my mother and sister, thought he was having an affair. I trusted him and stood by him as there was no evidence of infidelity.
I was still happy until a month ago, when I accidentally read some weird SMS-es on my husband's handphone. When I confronted him, he said they were from his (most recent) ex, who is now his boss.
He confessed that he was dating the two of us at the same time, but married me because of family pressure, and that he loved me more. I was shocked that he didn't tell me about this ex in our four years of marriage. I have my share of past romances, but I had told him about them when we met.
I cannot bear to see my twins suffer, should we divorce. But I cannot forget, or trust him.
Naive and heartbroken Mrs
It is difficult to get an idea of the whole problem without knowing the content of the text messages you read. What are you upset about - the fact that your husband has contact with his ex, or works for her, or that she had sent some inappropriate messages?
It's also difficult to judge your husband's behaviour. He had not told you that he was working for his ex, nor that he was seeing the both of you at the same time. You didn't even know she existed. Yet, he has said that nothing has happened. It's your task now to weigh his words and his actions against what you have found out.
It may be fair to let him explain himself, though. Do not issue threats, but let him know you want to know because the two of you need to make some decisions about your life. If he wants you to trust him, then he will have to trust you with the truth also.
After all this, if you feel that he is not honest with you, or you find that he has been truthful about his fidelity, then you will have to decide what to do next. But get information first.
Not easy, but the wife needs to trust her hubby. If the hubby is willing to lie about it, he is still loving his wife despite his flirt or fling and will most likely end those "fun" at appropriate time to return back to his wife. Ever think of the consequences when approaching her hubby and get a straight direct answer back like "Yes, still love the ex, lets divorce" ?
In many cases, the wife's "no trust" reactions like peeping into hp and sms, questioning and interrogating will only make things worse. It only push the hubby towards that outside woman and make .....
not quite , as long as you are qualified, the key is, the 2 of you emotionally connected, i know what you thinking, it has to be s*x after work, plenty of flirting, no, that was not what i meant
if you able to communicate well at emotional level, the chances is higher ...that is what i want to put across, not 100% you get a job, but increase your chance
my ex boss was a woman, pretty and sexy and married, she offered me a role with no interview, and i get to grope her everywhere, but no s*x
Guess ex or no ex is secondary, more importantly is the need for the job related to Family needs.
If no dire need (alternatives availble), then say goodbye the work and ex.
But if decided to stay for whatever reasons, then going foward, anything can happen.
And of course the family must be informed & able to handle it.
Me guess, as long as family is kept updated thru out, there should be minimum fallout if at the end, it doesn't work out and the guy has to leave.
Even she divorce her husband, you still have no chance.:D
and she is asking for divorce just because of she cant trust him than he having affair...this show she doesent love or trust him.... than i would suggest them for a divorce....
Alamak! That's after she found out lah. Before that he hide the truth. I slight get what you mean in a way. You need love and a serious relationship. Can be a foreigner or Vietnam beau lah. Don't be like some lonely, pathetic and single men here 'scolding' local women for the past 5 years :D
wahaha.... Malaysia Boleh..... :D:D:D
Not now... but when he quit and get a lower paying job and cant sustain family expenses... I'm not sure...
True..I agreed Marriage is base on honesty and respect... It goes both way... the husband might be honest with her... we never know.... and base on that she should trust him unless proven that he's a jerk...:)
This woman is not asking to be proved that her husband is cheating. Read carefully. She rather not (that hubby is cheating) and wanted security from him that's all ... before it's too late.
In the 1st place, she doesnt have trust anymore because the lady is the boss of her husband. Since she doesnt trust, no point staying together.
He may or may not be honest, but at least he told his wife his new boss was his ex.