My husband, who I love and trusted, is having an affair with a Chinese prostitute!

When I discovered his secret last July, he neither denied or admitted it.

Then a friend saw him dining with her and holding hands.

When I confronted him again, he said, "So what, no big deal."

I have tried many times to talk to him, to stop this nonsense and not destroy our family. We've been together 20 years and our children are aged 15 and 11.

Since this affair started, he has been very rude to me, often showing his temper and ego. He talks to me harshly, is sarcastic and has beaten me three times.

He is 50 and tells me he has a mid-life crisis. He's thrown away all his old clothes and wears smart things now, and sprays perfume too.

He tells me all sorts of lies and tries to push me away so he can focus on the prostitute.

The worst part is that he's taking drugs to boost his libido.

He comes home late every night; on Fridays, he doesn't come back - he claims he's sleeping over at his mother's place.

My husband has changed completely in his personality and attitude towards me.

When I ask why he treats me like this, he says: "You don't have to bother about what I do outside."

His actions really disturb me and make me stressed and depressed.

I'm not working and don't have financial support, that's why I'm still hanging around with my kids.

Cheating on me

You have to decide what you can stand for, and for how long. Then you have to think hard about the choices ahead of you and make some serious decisions.

Your husband has been rude and abusive to you. He does not seem to understand how his behaviour is affecting you, and why you would even be hurt by that.

I doubt very much if this is because of the other woman. Although it is true that this started happening since she came into the picture, it's not proof that she is the cause.

This has little to do with you, too.

Your husband may be true in saying that he's having a mid-life crisis.

He seems to want to prove something. This may last for a while or a long time.

He doesn't seem to have shown any empathy for your situation, so I doubt he would want to change his behaviour just for you.

So, talking to him may not have the effect that you want.

Are you comfortable about getting the help of close family members to try talk to him?

This issue may be humiliating for you to talk about; it may also be the same for your husband to know that you have spoken about this to others. You may want to really think about this.

Otherwise, it may be wise for you to check out other options.

You have to weigh the pros and cons of every decision you think of because you are also deciding for your children.

Get as much advice as you can. You are also going to need a lot of support, so make sure you have loved and trusted ones you can turn to.