Dear Annie: My ex-husband was one of those who thought the grass was greener on the other side. After a long marriage, he had an affair. I never thought he could betray our family like that.

Our two teenage children are still devastated. Although I have encouraged them to call and see their father, they refuse. We have tried counseling and I feel it helped all of us, but the kids are still very angry.

The problem is, their father blames me. He harasses me daily, threatening to delay his child support checks, take us back to court, and on and on, all because the children don't want to have contact. I have explained that I am not stopping the children from seeing him, but it falls on deaf ears. He needs to take responsibility for what he did, address it to the kids and move on. I am not at fault for how they feel. I have tried repeatedly to help them mend fences, but they simply aren't ready.

I am in a good place with my life now, but my ex continues to say mean and hateful things to me. I have told him that I forgive him even though I don't understand why he cheated, and that he needs to forgive himself and stop blaming me for the mess he has made of his life.

I am hoping if he reads this he will come to the same realization. What else can I do?

-- The Ex-Wife

Dear Ex: We think your husband's guilt is so overwhelming that he is taking it out on everyone else. Tell him you agree the children would benefit from having a relationship with their father, and suggest family counseling for all of you. If he is truly interested in re-establishing contact, he will cooperate.