Puberty has a bad reputation! The word calls to mind acne, awkwardness and embarrassing conversations.

But the truth is, puberty is a normal and important life stage. It is indeed intense, but it is also relatively short.

Ideally, if you are a parent with a teen or tween - that is eight years or older - you should have started talking to your child about the changes our bodies go through as we grow.

Just as it helps adults to know what to expect with changes, such as moving to a new home or working for a new company, kids should know about puberty beforehand.

In preparing our children for puberty, there are three main topics to cover: male and female anatomy; the mechanics of making a baby; and instilling healthy self-esteem and self-respect.

Male and female anatomy

If you've not done so, it is time to do an anatomy lesson. Many kids may receive some sex education at school.

Often, though, the lessons are segregated, and the girls hear primarily about menstruation and training bras while the boys about erections and changing voices.

It's important that both sides learn about the changes affecting the opposite sex. Hence, the need to understand both the male and female anatomy.

You can easily download pictures online or use a book with clear illustrations to help you explain.

It is also about helping our children become familiar and comfortable with their own sexual organs and functions.

You may also want to include other changes that happen with adolescence, such as hair growth, deepening voice, sweat production, oily skin, changes in their bodies, and sexual thoughts/feelings.

Let them know that these changes happen at different times for everyone, between ages nine and 14 for girls, and a little later for boys.

Reassure them that they can come to you anytime with questions or concerns as they start to go through this sometimes scary process.

Sperm + egg = baby

Many parents become tongue-tied when asked this question, so do try to give a simple, clear and basic explanation, best in a Q&A format. For example:

Where do babies come from? From the uterus inside a woman's body.

How does the baby get there? When a husband and wife make love to each other, the man's sperm fertilises the woman's egg. This leads to a baby.

Self-esteem and self-respect

Now is also the age when you need to start instilling a healthy self-esteem and self-respect in your child.

Yes, you might have already done so regarding their school work, their aptitude at sports, etc, but you also need to drum into them that their sexuality is something to be proud of and treasured, and not to be used and abused by others.

Tell them that if it is not the right time or person (and within the sanctity of marriage), it can be hurtful, rather than uplifting.

Let them know that respect is key to all aspects of living, including sexuality.

Puberty brings about many changes. It's easy for a child to feel insecure and as if he or she is the only one experiencing these changes.

Helping children understand these changes before they happen is very important. Not knowing what is truly happening may cause them to imagine horrible things.

Not surprisingly, kids usually have lots of questions as they learn about puberty. Children this age may be embarrassed to discuss details with you.

But hearing how they can deal with changes in a practical way will be appreciated.

You may want to tell your child a little about your own "rite of passage".

Knowing they are not alone and that these changes are normal will help them get through this time of hormonal transformation.

For you, it's important to make sure you give your child the time and opportunity to ask questions - and answer them as honestly and thoroughly as possible.

As embarrassing or difficult as it may be for you to talk about these sensitive topics, your child will likely feel even more uneasy.

As a parent, it's your job to discuss puberty - and the feelings associated with those changes - as openly as possible.

First, before you answer your child's questions, make sure your own questions are answered. If you're not entirely comfortable having a conversation about puberty, use books or a good website to help.

Practise first what you'd want to say. Let your child know that it may be a little uncomfortable to discuss, but it's an important talk to have.

Remember: Puberty is not only physical but involves emotional and mental changes and upheavals. If you had been open with your child when they asked questions and helped them develop a good self-concept, they should be able to handle the changes of adolescence as they happen.

Charis Patrick is a trainer and family life educator who is married with four children.