Love messages of the digital age
Christina Spaccavento, a sex therapist and relationship counselor from Sydney Sex Therapists in Australia, says sexting adds variety to how couples communicate, and likens it to love messages of the digital age.
Our smartphones are not just capable of letting us send text messages, they allow us to take photos, videos and voice recordings, too, making it easy for couples to share thoughts and feelings with each other whenever they feel like it.
"For me, it's about instant gratification. A sexual fantasy might pop into my head suddenly, like during a board meeting, and I'll describe it in a text to my husband there and then," says Charmaine*, 39, a company director.
Certain intimate feelings might also be harder to share in person, particularly if one or both spouses are shy. With sexting, you don't have to worry about appearing embarrassed or unconfident.
"Without having to communicate face to face, we lose our inhibitions and are less likely to censor what we say," says Daniel Koh, a psychologist from Insights Mind Centre.
Too shy for sexting?
If you'd like to try it out, Martha Lee, clinical sexologist from Eros Coaching suggests starting slow, with a text like "I'm thinking of you" or "I wish you were home already". Then as you get more comfortable, you can send more naughty texts. "Drop hints of a sexy evening together or suggest a sexual act.
"Or tell your spouse which part of his body you wish to touch, or where you wish for him to touch you. You can even share something which you've read or seen that made you think of him," suggests Martha. If you're more adventurous, take a picture of a part of your body that your spouse considers sexy, and send it together with a sexy message.
*not their real names
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