Dear Annie: My friend "Josie" drives me crazy with her neediness and dependency. She apparently looks up to me as a mentor, and at first, this was very flattering. But her needs are embarrassing (wanting hugs, reassurance that I am "proud of her" or "love her") and sometimes infuriating, calling me repeatedly in tears over some perceived slight on my part or someone else's.

I am aware that Josie has a mood disorder, so I don't want to simply tell her to call her doctor and cut her off. I have made it clear that I like her as a friend, but none of my other friends behave like this. I am losing sleep over her. -- Georgia

Dear Georgia: Insecure friends like Josie can suck the energy right out of you if you don't put up boundaries. It may not be entirely her fault that she behaves so over-the-top, but that doesn't mean you have to be her security blanket. It's OK to give her a hug when you see her, but if she demands another, just pat her arm reassuringly and change the subject or do something else. When she calls in tears, sympathize for a few minutes, then tell her nicely that you have to go and hang up.

See her less often. And feel free to suggest counseling as a way to deal with her "passionate emotions." If she becomes angry or upset, it's HER problem. Don't make it yours.

This article first appeared in The Korean Herald on Jan 5, 2009.