I wrote to you a few months ago about a guy I had met on Facebook and I have fallen in love with him. I followed your advice and met him a few weeks ago after you answered my problems. We have even gone out for movies a couple of times alone.

G is a really a good guy, and is there for me whenever I need him. He shares his problems with me too. He told me that his ex-girlfriend is ignoring him although he wants to be friends with her.

She told him not to wait for her and she may fall for someone else in the future. When she does respond to his messages, she is rude to him. It's clear that his ex wants to move on.

When he asked for my opinion, I couldn't tell him the truth because he may think I am taking advantage of the situation. His other friends have told him to move on too. I know that G still loves his ex-girlfriend so I have decided to move on and just be his best friend.

My second disaster is my education. I wasn't interested in sitting for the STPM but I had no choice and did poorly. I want to be a fashion designer, but my parents are against it "because we are not rich", as my mum says.

Now my classmates are going off to university and I am a failure - in love, in education, and I am not allowed to do the thing I love. I can't stop crying.

I have to start over. I am doing a foundation course in business at a local college, and people, especially my own family, are laughing at me. I have had two disasters in my life at the same time. This situation is driving me crazy. I get depressed easily and am moody, and my parents are suffering. When I look in the mirror, I see a loser.

I love G, but I don't know how he feels about me. I want to move on, but there is a huge wall blocking my way.

BN

You are your biggest barrier. If you remain negative and continue to moan about the two big disasters in your young life, how do you move on?

Get a grip on yourself. Tackle each issue calmly and ignore taunts that are irrelevant to you. Why do you care about people who are silly enough to laugh at you for starting a new course at college? And if you really love fashion, then check if you could take it up as an extra major. Blaming your parents and showing them your foul moods and tantrums just shows your immaturity and imbecility. How can they trust you to decide on your future if you cannot rationalise your preference?

As for G, leave him to pine and mope until he is ready to face the truth and reality. It's his problem for continuing to obsess over his girlfriend. You do not need to tell him to forget her because he does not want to hear advice. You should be getting on with putting your own life and emotions in order before you think about love.

You are not a loser for failing but you will end up a loser if you give up on yourself too easily. If you continue to waste your life staring at the loser in the mirror, that's where you will be stuck for life.

Thelma