Dear Annie: I am a recovering alcoholic and have worked in addiction recovery for the 22 years I have been sober. Two years ago, I married a wonderful man. I am 60 years old and it is my first marriage. We are quite happy.

Several months ago, my best friend of over 30 years called to tell me she had started dating an old beau of mine, a man I once had a very passionate relationship with. He is the most charming man I have ever known. But he is an alcoholic and an addict. He went through treatment once, but didn't stay sober.

"Lorraine" proceeded to tell me how beautiful his body still is, how great the sex is, and all the things I did that apparently still irritate him. I was shocked. I told her as gently as I could that he is an addict and there will always be "another woman" in his life as long as he drinks and does drugs. She didn't want to hear it. She told me he was seeing a therapist who assured her his brain could be "rewired." I don't believe it's possible. We have reached a compromise of sorts -- she does not mention his name to me.

Lorraine is a dear friend and I want to stay close, but I don't want an active alcoholic in my life. Was I unreasonable to react so negatively to her relationship? Her daughter said I overreacted. -- Kentucky

Dear Kentucky: When you believe a friend is making a huge mistake, it is natural to want to warn her. Still, you must respect her choice, even if you don't agree. You've told her how you feel. Now say nothing more about it. You can remain close by spending time together without your significant others. We have to wonder, however, about Lorraine's motives in so graphically flaunting her new relationship to you.