My friend Xing is a well-educated and charming man. He has been living together with his girlfriend Mei for years and they even have had children of their own. However, Mei is still his girlfriend while their children are still being called illegitimate children.

Mei is my childhood playmate and I could not stand doing nothing to help her. Therefore, I have asked Xing for a few times: "Hey, even Hong Kong actor-singer Andy Lau has recognised former Malaysian beauty queen Carol Chu as his wife. When would you recognise Mei?"

The first time I asked, Xing pretended that he could not understand. The second time I asked, He tried to talk about something else and the third time I asked, he seemed to be a bit impatient and said: "I've accepted her and that means I've recognised her as my wife!"

"No, accepting her doesn't mean that you've recognised her. Only after you've recognised her, it means that you have to accept her..."

Before I could finish my words, Xing rebutted: "No, since I've allowed Mei to stay with me, it means that I've already accepted her. Since I've accepted her, it means that I've recognised her. Since I've recognised her, it means that she is my wife. And there shouldn't be anything to be worried about."

I was almost speechless.

"You have to differentiate between acceptance and recognition and please don't get confused with the two concepts."

"…"

Before I could say more, Xing raised his tone with displeasure to correct me: "Fah, don't be a nit-picker. Acceptance and recognition carry almost the same meanings and it just depends on how you view them!"

In such a way, my focus has once again been skillfully deflected by Xing.

To be honest, I was really speechless at that moment. However, it was not because I was wrong. Instead, I was actually being confused by Xing's fallacy.

I was confused because regardless of from what angle I looked into it, I still could not find out whether there are differences between acceptance and recognition and whether they were two different concepts or not.

However, I am still very clear about a few facts:

Firstly, although Xing and Mei have been living as husband and wife over all these years, their "marriage" is not legally recognised.

Secondly, Mei will never be Xing's legal wife except if they are legally registered.

Thirdly, since Mei is not his legal wife, Mei can never enjoy the status and the rights of a legal wife, including their children will still be considered and illegitimate children with no legal status and rights to inherit Xing's property.

In other words, since Mei has no legal status, she has just been accepted but not recognised. As a result, she will have to accept the brutal fact that she is not eligible to enjoy any of the rights of a legal wife.

Mei, when could you be legally married?