Who says you have to be miserable this Valentine's Day?

Let your friends consume all the heart-shaped candies or shower the love of their lives with extravagant gifts. You certainly do not have to feel pressured to find someone special, let alone settle down with the next man to walk past your way.

People tend to forget that Valentine's Day is simply an opportunity to connect with people we care about - and to take a moment to appreciate them.

Here are four simple ways to capture the spirit of Valentine's Day.

1) Reconnect with a good friend, real time

Technology can certainly be used for greater good but sometimes it can be our biggest foe. With impossible schedules to juggle, many of us tend to fall out of touch with people we care about.

Instead of catching up on Facebook or sending a smiley face over text and Twitter, carving the time to meet them in person has a far greater benefit than meeting them online, hands down.

You can share a good laugh, catch up on each other's lives and tell them how much you miss them.

You can certainly hug your friends and in return, be hugged back. We engage our five senses when we're physically present with our friends, plus the level of cortisol - a stress hormone, decreases drastically making us less stressed and happier as a result.

2) Get Over an Ex

If staying at home makes you feel miserable because it'll cause you to reminisce about a lost love, then go get some company.

Instead of idealizing an ex, this Valentine's Day write out all of the reasons that that person was not a match and did not bring out the best in you. If you can't remember, enrol a good friend or family member to help you make the list!

Sometimes when you stop romanticizing a relationship that did not work out, you can feel the weight lifted off your shoulders.

3) Make Love a Priority

This is where most singles tend to falter. While many "claim" that having a relationship is a priority for them, they are not setting aside the time, effort and commitment to make it a priority.

How will they have time for a relationship if they don't even have time to date?

If finding a mate is a priority, consider: What do you have to say 'no' to, to say 'yes' to your goal of finding a relationship? You may have to say 'no' to working past midnight every day or the perspective that it's not worth the time and effort to get out there again.

If you want to be in a relationship, clear time and space in your schedule to make love a priority. Having the intention is not good enough... having a plan, is.

4) Love YOUR life

You can be single and loving it or you can be a couple and hating it.

So, the best thing you can do for your love life is to love your life! For one thing, you are more likely to attract people since there's nothing sexier than someone who is passionate and engaged in life.

More importantly, your life will be more fun and meaningful if you focus on outlets that bring you pleasure. Reconnect with your passions and indulge in activities that make you happy.

Take that driving lesson, or get PADI certified for your scuba dive. Think about what you would be doing if time and money weren't an issue, and incorporate some of those activities into your everyday life.

Don't wait for someone else to make you happy before you get happy yourself. Time to completely disregard the infamous Jerry McGuire phrase, because "You complete you!"


Anisa Hassan is the trusted authority in dating and relationship and is the Managing Director of "It's Just Lunch" in Asia. She has recently authored "The Guide to Dating in Asia" which offers tips and advice for singles on how to snag the dream date to finding love again after a divorce or widowhood. For more information, please visit www.itsjustlunchsingapore.com