WHAT? You don't have a maid? How do you survive?

A friend of mine asked this of me recently with the kind of look Macaulay Culkin reserved for applying aftershave.

Apparently in Singapore, based on my friend's reaction, it is quite unthinkable for working parents with two children, aged three years and three months, to survive without domestic help.

Well, the last time I checked, my children are still alive and the apartment is holding together pretty well, save for a minor ant problem.

Despite the obvious advantages, there are two reasons why I don't have a helper.

The first is rather selfish - I'd like to be able to walk naked in my own home. (Not that I do, but I feel that having that option is a vital privilege of home ownership).

The second is that I don't want to end up as a parent who outsources the parenting to foreign talent.

It starts out innocently enough. The domestic help is hired to cook and clean so you have more time with the kids.

But hey, since she's there, why not ask her to mind junior while you finish watching that DVD you've been putting off.

Dependence

Next, she'll be sending your kids to school because you don't think you can wake up an hour earlier.

It's not your fault the DVD extras were really really good and you went to bed at 2am.

Before long, your children are looking to the help for emotional and developmental support, leaving you as some guy wandering around the house wishing he could be naked.

Am I being paranoid?

Last week, I saw two parents with their child and their maid at a shopping mall.

The mother was walking with her handbag, the father was pushing the stroller with shopping bags piled inside, and the maid was carrying the toddler.

Talk about parenting priorities.

And it wasn't the first time I've seen it.

Now, I'm not saying all parents who employ maids do this. I have friends who have domestic helpers, and yet they are extremely hands-on in raising their children.

In fact, it is because of the domestic helper that they have the spare time to play with their kids, read to them, and help them with their homework.

Still, I don't think it's for me.

I believe one of the biggest lessons you can teach your children is to be independent and self-reliant.

And nothing teaches this better than when The Spawn and The Spawnette see Daddy doing the laundry while Mummy washes the dishes.

We get the older one to pitch in where he can, whether it's picking up toys or helping me with the vacuuming.

And so far, we're surviving.

I'm lucky to have the help of my parents and parents-in-law when it comes to babysitting. They are vital if you plan to go out alone.

I also get a part-time cleaner once a week to help out with the heavy-duty cleaning and ironing duties.

And if you do the maths, I still have six days a week where the birthday suit option remains on the table.

This article was first published in The New Paper.