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updated 24 Dec 2010, 11:04
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Tue, Oct 12, 2010
The New Paper
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Found the yin to your yang?
by Maureen Koh

I CONFESS, I'm hooked on the poignant love story of Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew and his dear missus, Madam Kwa Geok Choo.

In the past week, we have been moved by this great love, marked by the many compelling anecdotes that bore witness to it.

What we saw was a man and a woman who became soulmates and went on to carve a wonderful life together.

Soulmates. Do they exist?

If the results of our random poll of 70 people - 45 women and 25 men - are any indication, the answer is yes.

Forty-two people believe there is a soulmate out there for everyone - it's a question of whether you have found him or her.

Oddly though, only 19 said they are married to their soulmates and 11 said their spouses are not their soulmates.

The other 12 are single and still searching for their soulmates.

The remaining 28 don't believe there is a difference between a soulmate and a lover.

I have been married for 16 years to a man I love (and we have two lovely children) - but he is not my soulmate.

So, how does one define a soulmate?

Mrs Christina Thompson, 43, a teacher, said: "He's the one you want to share everything with, be it the happy times or the most depressing moments."

It's a relationship that extends beyond sex, said Mr Ong Weiqi, 29,an engineer.

He explained: "When you think about her, you can go all soft and the thoughts are not confined to purely raging hormones."

Mr Imran Mohd,37, a marketing manager, said: "You know you can overcome anything as long as you have this person with you."

Psychologist Daniel Koh, of Insights Mind Centre, defined a soulmate as "someone who understands you".

Family psychologist Richard Lim said: "Often, soulmates find they are able to read each other's mind even before the other can speak."

But what hit home for me is this definition from psychotherapist Sue Minns.

She had written in her book Soulmates: "A soulmate is another from your soul family with whom you have an intense connection."

And we saw that intense connection in the love between MM Lee and Madam Kwa.

At her funeral, MM Lee had said: "Without her, I would be a different man, with a different life."

On Wednesday evening as MM Lee said his last goodbye to his dear wife, hearts ached and tears flowed.

In one simple gesture, his stern facade - which I have always found awe-inspiring - vanished.

It made me celebrate love in a new way.

Mr Koh said: "The average Singaporean is so used to seeing MM Lee in a stern light.

"But after the demise of his wife, you see him as a loving husband.

"Singaporeans are touched especially when the details emerged of how Madam Kwa was always there for her husband, for all his unspoken needs, and did not demand anything in return."

This article was first published in The New Paper.

 


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readers' comments
I wished the deceased Madam Kwa Gek Choo was more proactive during her healthier days as she was considered by many as a good role model. It's a pity that Singaporeans and the public only learnt of her strength and contributions to our island, past her death and prime.

We need more role models like her and what is refreshing personally, was not her academic credentials, nor her profession, nor her multiple roles BUT that she was a woman who was beyond boundaries, she dares to fight for what she believes in i.e. her personal happiness by marrying a younger man, during her time and supporting him and the rest of the family for beyond 63 years of marriage. That is the most commenable quality about Madam Kwa for me! :)
Posted by ThinkerBella on Tue, 12 Oct 2010 at 22:32 PM


Yes, but if you don't follow your heart, you won't know as well. But then, even as you follow your heart heart, it's still best to take the plunge with a life partner after putting in a lot of thought too. The problem is that most people either feel too much without thinking, or think too much and end up not ever having felt anything.
Posted by lightasacloud on Mon, 11 Oct 2010 at 18:54 PM
Spouses can be soulmates if by the luck of the draw, they are well matched. But otherwise, they can become mates from hell.

In theory, it is easy to write a list of what's and who's the ideal life partner, but in practice, it is an inexact science which can go and has gone horribly wrong.
Posted by smickno on Mon, 11 Oct 2010 at 18:03 PM
Do you believe in the existence of soulmates? Is he or she the one you married? If not, what kind of person is your soulmate?
Posted by DivaTeam on Mon, 11 Oct 2010 at 17:57 PM

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