I THINK some adults don't realise the impact that their actions and words have on little children.

The other day, my 10-year-old daughter stunned me by talking about something the two of us used to do some six years ago.

It was almost a ritual of sorts, whenever I used to drive us to my sister's home for a weekly lunch, cooked by my dad.

Tara, then four, would sit looking out the window, anxious to get there to play with her cousins. She would look at the row of terrace houses along the way, commenting on the colour of the rooftops.

I would then initiate a mock argument about the colour of the roof of my sister's house.

"It's red," I would state loudly, and she would counter by saying that it was blue.

Of course, I was just playing a game with her, and she would always be right in the end.

Last week, as we were making our way there, she reminded me of that game we used to play.

"You would always let me win, Acha," she said, with a smile.

It was only then I realised that she always knew I had been pulling her leg. But she had played along, nonetheless, enjoying the moment.

Tara also remembers anything hurtful said by anyone, especially adults in positions of authority. That is why her favourite teachers stand out - she talks about them all the time.

Making kids feel good

One of them is her current form teacher at Marymount Convent School, Mr Faizal, who seems to have the knack of making kids feel good about themselves.

He praises them for even the little things, and when these things are related to my wife and I later in the night, you can see how important it was to the child.

Another important person in my daughter's life is her singing teacher, Mr Nat.

He is employed as her voice coach, but realising how much she is into the piano, teaches her about piano notes and chords as well, things which she immediately tries out at home on her keyboard.

We were also fortunate to discover a good swimming coach in Mr Alexy through the classifieds. He is patient, caring and makes the lessons fun, and both my kids can't wait to attend every session.

Then there are the many aunts, uncles and relatives in her life, some of whom she has grown very close to.

Perhaps the strongest relationship she has outside the immediate family is with her aunty Leena, who lived with us at one point and watched Tara grow up.

The two now even have phone conversations when they are not visiting each other, which means another nurturing adult in my daughter's life.

All of these people make parenting much easier because they teach our kids values and do it in their own ways.

The trick for me, I suppose, is to expose my kids as much as possible to the "better" adults out there, the ones that encourage more and scold only when absolutely necessary. Especially so when they are very young and impressionable, and the slightest of remarks can linger for years.

This article was first published in The New Paper.