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Tue, Jul 27, 2010
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Husband forgives wife who has lover's baby

Jane*, an executive in her 30s, is married with two young children who attend kindergarten. She has been married to her husband for the past 10 years.

However, she and her husband, Ryan* had drifted apart due to work commitments and their mutual affection for each other had dimmed. Eventually, Jane became tempted and got involved with her male colleague, and they carried on a secret affair.

She became pregnant with her lover's child, but she only discovered she was with child in the fifth month of her pregnancy.

Her husband in the meantime had become suspicious as she began to behave differently, and would often leave home early and return late. He discovered her affair after conducting his own investigations.

Ryan eventually forgave Jane for her affair because he still loved her, but her pregnancy came as a second shock to him. He never imagined that she would be pregnant with her lover's child. After a period of struggle, Ryan decided to forgive his wife again.

Although Ryan found it in himself to forgive Jane, he was unable to accept the baby that she had with her lover. He told his wife that their marriage would have to end if she decided to keep the baby. They also kept news of the pregnancy from their own children. The couple decided to approach The Sanctuary House for help when they decided to give up the baby for adoption.

The Sanctuary House is not a baby drop, but a centre that provides support for "crisis" pregnancies and short-term infant care.

Co-founder Noel Tan told Shin Min Daily News: "When the wife gave birth, her husband was there with her at the hospital. He loves his wife very much, but you can tell that he was very hurt."

He added that the wife knew her marriage would end if she chose to keep the baby. She did not see her baby after giving birth to it.

Mr Tan estimates that he sees about one case of a married woman giving up her baby borne out of an extramarital affair every six months. In the past five years, he has handled about 10 such cases. In most cases, the mother gives birth to the baby because they found out about their pregnancies too late and cannot abort, or they had decided to keep the pregnancy as they have hopes of continuing the relationship with their lovers.

*Not their real names.

Those who need help can call or SMS Sanctuary House at 9817 0588 or call the National Pregnancy Helpline on 1800-MUM-TO-BE (1800-686 8623).

readers' comments
just one conclusion - dumb guy
Posted by tmfoo888 on Mon, 20 Jun 2011 at 17:07 PM
Do we hv a Nicholas/Cecilia couple in SPORE???
Posted by JUSTSPOREAN on Mon, 20 Jun 2011 at 15:10 PM
That man is a wimp???????
Posted by exportset9 on Mon, 20 Jun 2011 at 14:53 PM
Adultery is a taboo and shd be a "NO NO and still NO !!!"
Posted by JUSTSPOREAN on Thu, 2 Jun 2011 at 04:19 AM
do a check on the hubby, probably he has a few undisclosed mistresses and their children too. :p
Posted by xinjiapore on Thu, 2 Jun 2011 at 03:25 AM
This cuckold can give many reasons to rationalize. But the simple reason for his "forgiving" nature is - he doesn't have balls.
Posted by asia_twotwo on Thu, 29 Jul 2010 at 21:02 PM
The husband must be in love with his new GREEN hat.
Posted by DuLichDat on Thu, 29 Jul 2010 at 11:39 AM

Yeah, bloody WC aside, husband couldn't make out clearly it wasn't just an isolated folly but an affair deliberately carried out over a period of time. And its even more ridiculous of her to feign ignorance concerning the pregnancy to cover up this infidelity. Obviously she's was hoping to have her cake and eat it too and when she was dumped by her lover probably after disclosing her pregnancy she decided to go back to her husband. Hence, even with forgiveness, I doubted very much she could remain faithful and responsible as a wife and mother in the circumstances. I would have thot if there exists any sign of true repentence it has got to be acceptance of the baby whatever the consequences and decision of her hubby. Evidence of her decision to abandon her poor unborn child in favour of her reconciliation is pure selfishness .....
Posted by MonkeyBusters on Thu, 29 Jul 2010 at 08:00 AM
Whoa! I see a lot of highly emotional posts here.

Okie, so the woman was wrong. Maybe she has a high sex drive. Maybe she needed the affection from that man which she was not getting from her husband, due to both being busy at work while the colleague was presumably constantly around her life, at work and after. Maybe..maybe...but whatever is the maybe or must be, it is still wrong.

The husband is hurt, while she will have to live with the guilt for the rest of her life. It helps that her husband who is deeply hurt by the betrayal forgave her. There is also the possibly greater guilt of abandoning who's her baby after all, even if it is conceived with another man, and being unable to see him/her grow up while at the same time counting the years and knowing .....
Posted by on Wed, 28 Jul 2010 at 22:35 PM
I feel the anguish and pain for the husband.

Sad how moments of passion brings so much pain.

I am glad the couple did the right thing... have the child and put up for adoption. At least there is one right decision here.
Posted by bettersingapore on Wed, 28 Jul 2010 at 22:03 PM

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